release-22.1: sql/row: limit row converter batches to 4MB

[blathers-crl]

Backport 1/1 commits from #78945 on behalf of @dt.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

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These small batches are used to reduce channel overhead when passing KVs
to the IMPORT ingest process, where we actually has move sophisticated
memory monitoring in place around the big buffers. They are expected to
be small and ephemeral, but for tables with very large rows, 5k KVs can
actually become a non-trivial amount of used memory. This adds a second limit
that triggers a flush if >4MB of key/value slice cap has been added to the
batch.

Release note: none.

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Release justification: bug fix.

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

Please check the backport criteria before merging:

• Patches should only be created for serious issues or test-only changes.
• Patches should not break backwards-compatibility.
• Patches should change as little code as possible.
• Patches should not change on-disk formats or node communication protocols.
• Patches should not add new functionality.
• Patches must not add, edit, or otherwise modify cluster versions; or add version gates.

If some of the basic criteria cannot be satisfied, ensure that the exceptional criteria are satisfied within.

• There is a high priority need for the functionality that cannot wait until the next release and is difficult to address in another way.
• The new functionality is additive-only and only runs for clusters which have specifically “opted in” to it (e.g. by a cluster setting).
• New code is protected by a conditional check that is trivial to verify and ensures that it only runs for opt-in clusters.
• The PM and TL on the team that owns the changed code have signed off that the change obeys the above rules.

Add a brief release justification to the body of your PR to justify this backport.

Some other things to consider:

• What did we do to ensure that a user that doesn’t know & care about this backport, has no idea that it happened?
• Will this work in a cluster of mixed patch versions? Did we test that?
• If a user upgrades a patch version, uses this feature, and then downgrades, what happens?

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is