apacheGH-40745: [Java][FlightRPC] Support configuring backpressure th…

…reshold (apache#41051)

### Rationale for this change

gRPC uses a default backpressure threshold that is too low for services that send large amounts of data such as Arrow Flight. This causes excessive blocking and reduces throughput.

### What changes are included in this PR?

* Update to grpc-java 1.63.0
* Add to FlightServer.Builder an option to set the number of bytes queued before blocking due to backpressure. Set the default to 10MB instead of gRPC's default of 64K.
* Add a ServerInterceptor for automating setting the backpressure threshold on ServerCalls.

### Are these changes tested?

Tested through existing unit tests.

### Are there any user-facing changes?

The FlightServer.Builder class has an extra configuration option to let users change the backpressure threshold themselves.

* GitHub Issue: apache#40745

Authored-by: James Duong <[email protected]>
Signed-off-by: David Li <[email protected]>

java/pom.xml

@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@
     <dep.slf4j.version>2.0.11</dep.slf4j.version>
     <dep.guava-bom.version>33.0.0-jre</dep.guava-bom.version>
     <dep.netty-bom.version>4.1.108.Final</dep.netty-bom.version>
-    <dep.grpc-bom.version>1.62.2</dep.grpc-bom.version>
+    <dep.grpc-bom.version>1.63.0</dep.grpc-bom.version>
     <dep.protobuf-bom.version>3.23.1</dep.protobuf-bom.version>
     <dep.jackson-bom.version>2.17.0</dep.jackson-bom.version>
     <dep.hadoop.version>3.4.0</dep.hadoop.version>