pkg/executor: fix the hang issue in indexHashJoin (#49218)

[ti-chi-bot]

This is an automated cherry-pick of #49218

What problem does this PR solve?

Issue Number: close #49033

Problem Summary:

What changed and how does it work?

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)
• No need to test

  • I checked and no code files have been changed.

Side effects

• Performance regression: Consumes more CPU
• Performance regression: Consumes more Memory
• Breaking backward compatibility

Documentation

• Affects user behaviors
• Contains syntax changes
• Contains variable changes
• Contains experimental features
• Changes MySQL compatibility

Release note

Please refer to Release Notes Language Style Guide to write a quality release note.

Fix the issue that the query hangs when it's killed by the tidb_mem_quota_query

[ti-chi-bot]

[APPROVALNOTIFIER] This PR is APPROVED

This pull-request has been approved by: guo-shaoge, wshwsh12

The full list of commands accepted by this bot can be found here.

The pull request process is described here

Needs approval from an approver in each of these files:

• OWNERS [guo-shaoge,wshwsh12]

Approvers can indicate their approval by writing /approve in a comment
Approvers can cancel approval by writing /approve cancel in a comment

[ti-chi-bot]

[LGTM Timeline notifier]

Timeline:

• 2023-12-19 09:55:06.018467107 +0000 UTC m=+954797.055694021: ☑️ agreed by wshwsh12.
• 2023-12-20 01:32:05.264276084 +0000 UTC m=+1011016.301503000: ☑️ agreed by guo-shaoge.