ddl, session: fix re-upgrade issues (#44469)

[ti-chi-bot]

This is an automated cherry-pick of #44469

What problem does this PR solve?

Issue Number: close #44158, and related #44366

Problem Summary:
Mock： do upgradeNewVer： Add a new mysql.table(mock system DDL)

case 1

1. The new TiDB upgrade failed(such as TiKV network problems), and the mock system DDL is queuing
2. Re-upgrade the TiDB(This operation will pause all DDL jobs by the system). It will pause the mock system DDL which always goes into runDDLJob.

case 2

1. The new TiDB upgrade failed(such as TiKV network problems), and the etcd owner path isn't remove
2. The etcd owner path TTL is 60s, we retry get owner info is 2s. So we can't get the owner's info normally.

What is changed and how it works?

• Make all paused DDL jobs can't be runnable(won't go into runDDLJob) when upgrading state.
• Extend the timeout to get owner's info.

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)
  case 2.
• No code

Side effects

• Performance regression: Consumes more CPU
• Performance regression: Consumes more Memory
• Breaking backward compatibility

Documentation

• Affects user behaviors
• Contains syntax changes
• Contains variable changes
• Contains experimental features
• Changes MySQL compatibility

Release note

Please refer to Release Notes Language Style Guide to write a quality release note.

None

[ti-chi-bot]

[APPROVALNOTIFIER] This PR is APPROVED

This pull-request has been approved by: Defined2014, XuHuaiyu

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[ti-chi-bot]

[LGTM Timeline notifier]

Timeline:

• 2023-07-12 06:58:59.988428445 +0000 UTC m=+488031.758767158: ☑️ agreed by Defined2014.
• 2023-07-12 09:23:31.781441797 +0000 UTC m=+496703.551780506: ☑️ agreed by XuHuaiyu.

[zimulala]

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