*: track the memory usage of IndexJoin more accurate (#29068)

[ti-srebot]

cherry-pick #29068 to release-5.3
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# In tidb repo:
git pr https://github.com/pingcap/tidb/pull/30093

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git push [email protected]:ti-srebot/tidb.git pr/30093:release-5.3-481455728ae5

---

What problem does this PR solve?

Issue Number: close #28650

Problem Summary:
The memory usage of indexJoinBuilderHelper.buildTemplateRange and indexRangesToKVWithoutSplit is not tracked. Thus we can not cancel the SQL which uses IndexJoin with huge nextColRanges even if it costs a lot of memory.

What is changed and how it works?

After this commit, the SQL can be cancelled when reaching the memory quota.

Check List

Tests

• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)

test.txt

Side effects

• Performance regression: Consumes more CPU
  But this regression can be ignored since the newly added memory tracking is a low-frequency action.

Documentation
N/A

Release note

Track the memory usage of IndexJoin more accurate.

[ti-srebot]

/run-all-tests

[ti-chi-bot]

[REVIEW NOTIFICATION]

This pull request has been approved by:

• guo-shaoge
• wshwsh12

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[ti-srebot]

@XuHuaiyu you're already a collaborator in bot's repo.

[XuHuaiyu]

/merge

[ti-chi-bot]

This pull request has been accepted and is ready to merge.

Commit hash: 86db918

[XuHuaiyu]

/merge