DRIVERS-1785: clarify ordering of CMAP events when pool is cleared

[baileympearson]

Node POC: mongodb/node-mongodb-native#4296

This PR adds tests ensuring that drivers always clear the pool before checking a connection back in / emitting close events, regardless of if the pool cleared error occurs on establishment during minPoolSize population, connection checkout or during operation execution on a checked out connection.

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This PR originally intended to just add a test that demonstrated that, when we encounter a pool clear error on an application connection, we clear the pool before checking the connection back into the pool. This avoids a small race condition between SDAM and connection checkout for subsequent requests in the pool - the subsequent requests might check out the errored connection before the pool is cleared.

As I was looking into this, I did realize we do have this coverage already. But as Matt pointed out on the drivers ticket, the ordering of events seemed to be specified differently in one CMAP minPoolSize test than in other CMAP and SDAM tests. The race condition isn't present for minPoolSize population, but Matt pointed out that if we expect a different ordering of events for minPoolSize population and connection checkout, we can't share connection establishment logic in both code paths. So I also updated the ordering of events for the incorrect CMAP test (pool clear must happen before connectionClosed events).

I also realized some tests only tested that handshakes clear the pool, while others test that authentication clears the pool. I added tests for both errors during the handshake and auth during minPoolSize population and connection checkout, and assert on the expected ordering of events.

Please complete the following before merging:

• Update changelog.
• Make sure there are generated JSON files from the YAML test files.
• Test changes in at least one language driver.
• Test these changes against all server versions and topologies (including standalone, replica set, sharded
  clusters, and serverless).

[matthewdale]

Looks good! 👍