add link

docs/writing/posts/testosterone.md

@@ -0,0 +1,96 @@
+---
+draft: False
+date: 2024-02-03
+slug: testosterone
+categories:
+  - Funny Thoughts
+  - Personal
+authors:
+  - jxnl
+---
+
+# My year at 1100ng/dL
+
+I'm not a doctor, but I did manage to double my testosterone levels in a year. I'm going to talk about what I did, what I learned, and what I think about it:
+
+1. It's just a fact that male testosterone levels have been dropping for the past couple of years.
+2. I felt like I was in a rut and I wanted to feel better, and I did.
+3. I was such a psycho about it that I decided to go off the protocol.
+4. Despite that, I still think every man should get their levels tested and see if they can improve them. And just understand how they feel.
+
+<!-- more -->
+
+## The lead up
+
+In 2021, I would wake up at 10 AM, check my phone for an hour and a half scrolling TikTok and Instagram before getting out of bed, grabbing a coffee and starting my day. I think at that time I was probably a little depressed over trained from jujitsu four times a week but I was working out I was eating right but I didn't feel great.
+
+Then around that time I started listening to the Andrew Huberman podcast. I learned about testosterone as a hormone that makes you motivated, something that makes [hard work feel good](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGKL62fGj6U). And he had suggested two protocols that would supposedly improve those numbers. It was the same time I started reading about David Sinclair's work with Inside Tracker. So I thought I would start an [experiment in increasing my test.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O640yAgq5f8).
+
+1. NAD+
+2. Tongkat Ali
+3. Ashwagandha
+4. Creatine
+
+![Image](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O640yAgq5f8)
+
+I can't claim any independent treatments since I won on everything at the same time. I also completely want carnivore. And I would fast most of my day, do jujitsu for two hours and come home to a sous vide steak seared in down in the cast iron skillet.
+
+!!! warning "This is not a protocol"
+
+    I'm not a doctor, and I'm not suggesting that anyone do this. I'm just saying that I did it and I'm going to talk about what happened. Mostly as a funny story rather some optimal protocol.
+
+## The story of male testosterone.
+
+It's basically known at this point that by some function, Male testosterone has been dropping for the past couple of years.
+
+![Image](https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-9aa9cf66a27550340b9b17ae10a94fc8-lq)
+
+I'm not really a scientist in this regard, so I'm gonna avoid talking about it too much. But the general takeaway was that I kind of really experimented with how I would feel as I tried to increase my levels.
+
+## The story of my experience
+
+I started off with doing a blood test I was at 500 ng/dl. By the end, I was at 1100 ng/dl.
+
+But what changed? Was it placebo? Was it the diet? Was it the supplements? Was it the fasting? Was it the jujitsu? Was it the sleep? Was it the meditation? Was it the cold showers? Was it the sauna? Was it the ice baths? I mostly wanted to measure how I felt and how I changed.
+
+I don't know. But I'll describe some of the positive changes and negative changes that I noticed.
+
+## The good
+
+> I intend to walk into heaven and take what I deserve.
+
+I was so wired at this point that I was taking up at 7am everyday to swim about 1.5km every morning, recording my times and trying to beat them. I would record myself swimming, critique my form, and watch olympic swimming videos. I'd wrap swimming at 8am, come home, and study tape and watch 'how to swim' videos. Then I'd eat eggs and some grilled meat and take a nap from 9-11am.
+
+Then, I'd study BJJ, and go to BJJ class at 1pm and train, get home, reflect on my training, study bjj and again watch tapes. Then I'd eat a steak and go to pottery.
+
+Everything I was doing, I had to do the most, and I had to be better every single day. I was psychotic about it. But it definitely felt good in the 'in this moment i am closer to god' kind of way.
+
+However It definitly took a told on my perception of others. Not others perceptions of me. My perception of others.
+
+## The bad
+
+One of the silly things I noticed about myself though. That's the way I saw other people. I would literally wake up and the first thing in my mind would be what were the goals I wanted to accomplish that day? I was always a motivated person. But I distinctly remember just thinking everyday what were my goals and what did I want and asking myself that constantly.
+
+I took a turn when I asked other people to start working out with me and doing things with me. If they thought I was waking up too early or said they didnt know if they could make the time. I judged them. That in particular wasn't in my character. Most of my life I've lived a philosophy where I don't really set anyone to my standard of living. How could I? By distinctly remembering two moments:
+
+One was when a friend of mine saw that I was getting into shape and asked to come work out with me. I offered to swim an hour later at 8 a.m. and they accepted. By the time I got to the pool and they weren't there and I texted them, they told me they had slept in and was feeling tired that day. I remember feeling disgusted and thinking that they were weak.
+
+That was like the first time I'd ever thought something so intense about someone else. I was a passing thought, and as someone who doesn't believe that I am made of fuck my thoughts, it wasn't necessarily an identity crisis, but it definitely surprised me that that even came to my mind. The same thing happened again during New Year's when I asked them what the resolution was. And they told me they had no goals. As a man... How could you?... I thought to myself.
+
+## The Ugly
+
+At the time of the summer rolled around I think the extra energy really hit. I think for the first time I primarily focused on status in some abstract sense. I just want to work out, Fight people, Go on dates. Take what I want. And make money. I just wanted to have everything that I wanted. In a very intense way. And people were either helping me get there in my way strong or weak.
+
+It wasn't even that I objectified women for instance, it was just that I objectified everything, There was a lot of black and white thinking.
+
+If you were bad at your job, I would take it personally. You were in my way, and you were fucking up the work that I'm doing, and you were taking food out of my mouth.
+
+I was once like those, during the summer of 2022, where I really found that I had gone to a place I'd never expected to be. You got so intense at some point that I decided to just stop doing this altogether. I moved to the beach in LA and spent a month to just cool off, I went surfing and swimming in the water. And sure enough I chilled out
+
+## So what did I learn?
+
+Having had that experience, I still honestly believe that every man should get their testosterone levels checked and then ask themselves if they would like to experience it. I was incredibly motivated and had abundant energy. Every victory felt deserved, and every loss was a moment of reflection. I pursued what I desired in the world, and it was a tremendous feeling. Sometimes I think it's worth it, worth climbing the mountain not for the world to see you, but for you to see the world. During that time, I gained clear insights into parts of myself. As they say, "The tree that reaches heaven must have roots that reach hell." If you are favored by God, you are also favored by the devil.
+
+I don't think it's something you would want to maximize for an extended period of time, but I do believe it offers a great glimpse into what is possible. At that time, I genuinely believed that I could outwork any person on the planet and that I deserved everything I wanted through sheer force of will.
+
+In the same way that some drugs can show you a destination without helping you understand the path, this experience also revealed a destination to me, a place I didn't know existed but knew I could tap into if the need arose.