server: defer gossip start to when absolutely needed #53800
Merged
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This was pulled out of #52526 to keep the diff there focussed on the
introduction of the RPC (and to see if that alone shaked out any
failures). That change lets us make this one, were we can defer gossip
start until right before we start up Node.
Release justification: low risk, high benefit change to existing functionality
Release note: None