release-24.3.0-rc: upgrade: adding is_draining to system.sql_instance can fail

[fqazi]

Backport 1/1 commits from #135737.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

---

Previously, the logic to add the is_draining column to the system.sql_instance descriptor would copy the bootstrap descriptor directly. While this works fine for non-multiregion system databases, this approach breaks for multi-region system databases. This is because bootstrap descriptors do not have multi-region modifications applied on top. To address this, this change modifies the upgrade to use ALTER TABLE ADD COLUMN.

Fixes: #135736

Release note: None

Release justification: low risk fix for an issue that can prevent version finalization with MR system databases

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

Please check the backport criteria before merging:

• Backports should only be created for serious
  issues or test-only changes.
• Backports should not break backwards-compatibility.
• Backports should change as little code as possible.
• Backports should not change on-disk formats or node communication protocols.
• Backports should not add new functionality (except as defined
  here).
• Backports must not add, edit, or otherwise modify cluster versions; or add version gates.
• All backports must be reviewed by the owning areas TL. For more information as to how that review should be conducted, please consult the backport
  policy.

If your backport adds new functionality, please ensure that the following additional criteria are satisfied:

• There is a high priority need for the functionality that cannot wait until the next release and is difficult to address in another way.
• The new functionality is additive-only and only runs for clusters which have specifically “opted in” to it (e.g. by a cluster setting).
• New code is protected by a conditional check that is trivial to verify and ensures that it only runs for opt-in clusters. State changes must be further protected such that nodes running old binaries will not be negatively impacted by the new state (with a mixed version test added).
• The PM and TL on the team that owns the changed code have signed off that the change obeys the above rules.
• Your backport must be accompanied by a post to the appropriate Slack
  channel (#db-backports-point-releases or #db-backports-XX-X-release) for awareness and discussion.

Also, please add a brief release justification to the body of your PR to justify this
backport.

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is