release-23.2: sql: Drop Role does not properly check if target user does not exist

[blathers-crl]

Backport 1/1 commits from #134850 on behalf of @Dedej-Bergin.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

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Previously when we are a non-admin user and we run drop role if exists on a user that does not exist we would get an error that the user does not exist. This is incosistent with other if exists commands and it does not make sense to get an error since by typing if exists we expect that the user may not exist. These code changes take care of that.

Loom Video Description: https://www.loom.com/share/cd75d692ef3940be9b3fd395dc911f71?sid=ad6b27e1-620f-45b1-be10-9b733408fae5

Fixes: #134538

Release note (bug fix): When you are a non-admin user and you run drop role if exists on a user that does not exist you no longer get an error message.

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Release justification: low risk bug fix

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

Please check the backport criteria before merging:

• Backports should only be created for serious
  issues or test-only changes.
• Backports should not break backwards-compatibility.
• Backports should change as little code as possible.
• Backports should not change on-disk formats or node communication protocols.
• Backports should not add new functionality (except as defined
  here).
• Backports must not add, edit, or otherwise modify cluster versions; or add version gates.
• All backports must be reviewed by the owning areas TL. For more information as to how that review should be conducted, please consult the backport
  policy.

If your backport adds new functionality, please ensure that the following additional criteria are satisfied:

• There is a high priority need for the functionality that cannot wait until the next release and is difficult to address in another way.
• The new functionality is additive-only and only runs for clusters which have specifically “opted in” to it (e.g. by a cluster setting).
• New code is protected by a conditional check that is trivial to verify and ensures that it only runs for opt-in clusters. State changes must be further protected such that nodes running old binaries will not be negatively impacted by the new state (with a mixed version test added).
• The PM and TL on the team that owns the changed code have signed off that the change obeys the above rules.
• Your backport must be accompanied by a post to the appropriate Slack
  channel (#db-backports-point-releases or #db-backports-XX-X-release) for awareness and discussion.

Also, please add a brief release justification to the body of your PR to justify this
backport.

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is 

[spilchen]

If you're planning to add it later, feel free to disregard this comment, but currently, the second fix isn’t included.