release-23.2: concurrency: recompute wait queues when locking requests drop out

[blathers-crl]

Backport 1/1 commits from #113636 on behalf of @arulajmani.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

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First commit from #112732

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A locking request must actively wait in a lock's wait queues if:

• it conflicts with any of the lock holders.
• or it conflicts with a lower sequence numbered request already in
  the lock's wait queue.

As a result, if a locking request exits a lock's wait queue without
actually acquiring the lock, it may allow other locking requests to
proceed. This patch recomputes wait queues whenever a locking request
exits a lock's wait queues to detect such scenarios and unblock requests
which were actively waiting previously not no longer need to.

Fixes #111144

Release note: None

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Release justification: Fixes a GA blocker.

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

Please check the backport criteria before merging:

• Backports should only be created for serious
  issues or test-only changes.
• Backports should not break backwards-compatibility.
• Backports should change as little code as possible.
• Backports should not change on-disk formats or node communication protocols.
• Backports should not add new functionality (except as defined
  here).
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• All backports must be reviewed by the owning areas TL and one additional
  TL. For more information as to how that review should be conducted, please consult the backport
  policy.

If your backport adds new functionality, please ensure that the following additional criteria are satisfied:

• There is a high priority need for the functionality that cannot wait until the next release and is difficult to address in another way.
• The new functionality is additive-only and only runs for clusters which have specifically “opted in” to it (e.g. by a cluster setting).
• New code is protected by a conditional check that is trivial to verify and ensures that it only runs for opt-in clusters. State changes must be further protected such that nodes running old binaries will not be negatively impacted by the new state (with a mixed version test added).
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• Your backport must be accompanied by a post to the appropriate Slack
  channel (#db-backports-point-releases or #db-backports-XX-X-release) for awareness and discussion.

Also, please add a brief release justification to the body of your PR to justify this
backport.

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is 

[arulajmani]

Closed in favour of #114023