release-23.1: sql: fix sql compaction job full scan

[j82w]

Backport 1/1 commits from #108947 on behalf of @j82w.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

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The sql-stats-compaction is failing with TransactionRetryError. This is caused by the internal executor uses the zero-values for the settings, rather than the cluster defaults. This causes SET reorder_joins_limit = 0; which then causes the sql-stats-compaction delete statement to do a full scan. The full scan is causing the query to take a long time causing other queries to conflict with it.

Error:
TransactionRetryWithProtoRefreshError: TransactionRetryError: retry txn (RETRY_SERIALIZABLE - failed preemptive refresh due to a conflict: committed value on key

The fix to use the correct default value instead of 0 is made in #101486.

Solution is to change the query to avoid the join and thus the full scan.

Fixes: #108936

Release note (sql change): Optimized the sql-stats-compaction job delete query to avoid full scan. This helps avoid the TransactionRetryError which can cause the job to fail.

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Release justification: bug fix

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

Please check the backport criteria before merging:

• Patches should only be created for serious issues or test-only changes.
• Patches should not break backwards-compatibility.
• Patches should change as little code as possible.
• Patches should not change on-disk formats or node communication protocols.
• Patches should not add new functionality.
• Patches must not add, edit, or otherwise modify cluster versions; or add version gates.

If some of the basic criteria cannot be satisfied, ensure that the exceptional criteria are satisfied within.

• There is a high priority need for the functionality that cannot wait until the next release and is difficult to address in another way.
• The new functionality is additive-only and only runs for clusters which have specifically “opted in” to it (e.g. by a cluster setting).
• New code is protected by a conditional check that is trivial to verify and ensures that it only runs for opt-in clusters.
• The PM and TL on the team that owns the changed code have signed off that the change obeys the above rules.

Add a brief release justification to the body of your PR to justify this backport.

Some other things to consider:

• What did we do to ensure that a user that doesn’t know & care about this backport, has no idea that it happened?
• Will this work in a cluster of mixed patch versions? Did we test that?
• If a user upgrades a patch version, uses this feature, and then downgrades, what happens?

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is 

[maryliag]

Reviewable status: complete! 1 of 0 LGTMs obtained (waiting on @msirek)