Description updates for Hub 01 armor and hybrid weapons platform

[Ilysen]

Summary

Content "Grammar/writing updates for more Hub 01 items"

Purpose of change

Writing is good, etc etc. The descriptions for Hub 01's printed armor aren't bad, but they repeat a lot of things.

Describe the solution

• Revamped the description of all Hub 01 armor pieces. In general, prototypes are more descriptive about the form and how the piece works, with the higher tiers skipping on repeating this info in favor of highlighting the differences they have between each other.
• Slightly tweaked the writing of the HWP's description.
• Changed the HWP's color to blue, since it (imo) makes it more unique and complements the description about having blue furnishings. I'm cool changing this part back, though.
• Renamed the HWP 20-round .308 magazine to the HWP 20-round 7.62 magazine. The magazine can still load and fire both of these calibers, but the conversion kit for that type of ammo specifically mentions 7.62, so I figured it'd be best to use it in the magazine name too.
• The modular defense anchor now has a largely different description from the normal MDS, and features more information why the logo on the chest glows (it's an LED installed into the anchor itself in Hub 01's logo that glows through the fabric, made by some very nerdy scientsits.)

Describe alternatives you've considered

Writing's always subjective, so I'm always open to tweaks or suggestions based on input or grammatical accuracy. Otherwise, the only alternative I'd considered is keeping the descriptions longer to include info about straps, buckles etc. in all of the pieces, but I opted instead to move this info to the prototypes only.

Testing

Spawned in some Hub 01 armor and weapons and read the descriptions. Made sure that the 20-round magazine correctly loaded with 7.62 ammo in addition to .308 (which it does!)

Additional context

CC: @bombasticSlacks

I wanna follow up on this by revamping some more of the intercom's dialogue (as well as possibly the merc) to complement these changes, but that's all up in the air.

[bombasticSlacks]

Gonna look at the rest a bit later, looks good though so far!!

[bombasticSlacks]

I really like the descriptions and the additional personality of it all. I also like the variety in composition you've done, helps give each piece more of a feeling of being laboured over to get right.

One thing I would say, is to be careful mixing material descriptors. "Heat resistant sheets" vs "Nomex panels" for example (I'm on mobile and it's hard to look back and forth so those aren't direct quotes). Mind, I love that stuff, the more specific and juicy the better as far as I'm concerned but some of our players might not connect the dots if they aren't in the know. Again I really like all this stuff but, though I'm not nearly the caliber of writer you are, I've had to reel myself in on similar things when writing in the past.

As I've said before, and I'm sure will say again, thanks for this it really is great stuff and really helps bring it to life.

[Ilysen]

thank you for the kind words! You don't need to worry about offending me, don't worry. I'm always open to hearing other input. :P

[bombasticSlacks]

@John-Candlebury I'll give you a ping as well in case you have any feedback as the person behind the curtain.

[John-Candlebury]

I quite like the rewrites in here! Thank you Illysen!

Think its great if you want to keep working on the mercs & intercom dialogue, Although I wanted to let you know I plan to move the mercs into the subway station I recently added here: #56411, so you might want to keep that in mind. (And related to those changes, if you feel like making new mercenary characters from scratch you can)

[Ilysen]

thank you! I don't have any immediate plans to make new mercs, but I did plan to make some slight adjustments to the dialogue of the existing one. only small ones, though - mainly to address the part about the HWP, since it's written in a bit of weird way due to lack of & and * in the dialogues. nonetheless, I'll bear that in mind - I was curious about it since I wasn't sure if the player would be sent down there and still be kept out of the main lab, and so on

[Faalagorn]

I love your writeups as always @Ilysen but one thing that gets me wondering, I saw you changed the single quotes (') to double ones (") – as I'm not a native speaker, is there any reason to use the single quotes in place of the doubles ones outside of them being nested inside the regular ones (which can happen in dialogues I think), or are these are just remnants of the programmer ones?

In Polish we have totally different quotes („ ” for the 1st level and then either German or French quotes (either » « or « » inside) or the "British" ‚ ’ for the second and deeper levels, but ‘ ’ or ‛ ’ function as a definition quotes. See https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cudzys%C5%82%C3%B3w#Cudzys%C5%82%C3%B3w_w_j%C4%99zyku_polskim (in Polish, so Google Translate might be needed).

[Ilysen]

totally fine! to be honest, I went with my gut. the double quotes are used to highlight the phrases themselves, but looking online at style guides for reference, I find that different writers prefer different things; some people use single quotes to highlights phrases and labels, while others use double quotes. however, I can say that single quotation marks appear to typically be used for showing quotes within quotes (i.e. "He said 'hello'"), so I feel reasonably confident in using double quotations in this particular case.

As with all writing, though, it's subjective and people smarter than me would contest whether or not I'm doing it correctly, so YMMV and I'm open to changing it if that seems like a good thing to do.