letmebot

Telegram (inline) bot that provides direct search links (similar to LMGTFY) for various search engines (ddg, google, bing, ...)

Installation / Setup

I don't see a point in this, but hey, here are the steps:

Get yourself a PHP hoster with HTTPS support (uberspace.de is a good place to start)
Get yourself a bot account. To do so, contact @botfather, send him /newbot and follow the steps until you get a message with an access token looking like this: 123456789:AAABBBCCCDDDEEE000111222333444. Also make sure to use /setinline to enable Inline queries for this bot.
Upload the file to your hosters servers, so that it is available via the Web (e.g. on uberspace: upload it to some place at ~/html/). Test if cou can reach it from your webbrowser via https (e.g. https://youruser.kurt.uberspace.de/yourfilename.php). If it is, remember this URL.
Setup the webhook: Again in your browser, enter this url: https://api.telegram.org/bot<YOURTOKEN>/setWebhook?url=<YOUR_SCRIPT_URL>. Replace <YOURTOKEN> with the long token you received from botfather in step 2. Replace <YOUR_SCRIPT_URL> with the URL of your script from step 3. Remember to include the https://, or Telegram will reject it. Press enter when you are finished. You should get a happy JSON without error messages as the result if it worked.
Voila, your setup should be finished. Enjoy your stupid bot. And remember: Never do stuff that should work in PHP.