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<p id="quasimatt"><a href="https://twitter.com/quasimatt">quasimatt</a></p>
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<p id="clout" data-date="090324" data-type="social">i walk to a local coffee shop, gather, to meet <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a>. he arrives minutes later. we discuss the publication of his poetry on <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a> and develop a system for ensuring the references in his work link to more information. we discuss rollout and monetization. while discusing money, <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a> reminds me that "there is something more important than money, and we both know what that is." i walk home.</p>
<p id="peppers" data-date="090124" data-type="social"><a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> meets me in seward park and we take the train to <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a>'s housewarming party. <a href="https://twitter.com/maroon6fan">kyle</a>, who famously runs the instagram account <a href="https://instagram.com/ineedgodineverymomentofmylife">ineedgodineverymomentofmylife</a>, lets us in and we say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/l0botomy">amanda</a>. i say hi to sameen. <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> comes downstairs and <a href="https://twitter.com/wesamo__">wesam</a> arrives, followed by <a href="https://twitter.com/whoisjillblutt">jill</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/annaemers0n_">anna</a>. i eat an unreasonable number of cheese-stuffed peppers that <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> made. <a href="https://twitter.com/whateverr_r">julia</a> arrives. <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> gives <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and me a tour of the home, which includes freaking massive windows and a spacious skylit bathroom as well as a problematic map covering an entire wall in one of the bedrooms. we migrate to the back yard and ned and tracy arrive. we discuss various topics such as slow cooking meat, electric vehicles, <a href="https://twitter.com/whoisjillblutt">jill</a>'s music, and lots of new york things since many of the attendees grew up in new york. i meet tim. we go back inside and eat a scrumptious pile of meat that <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> prepared on the grill. i run to get some beers and other alcoholic beverages. we migrate to the roof and <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> starts djing for a while before <a href="https://instagram.com/third_self">sean</a> takes over. a talk to sameen about her photography and apprenticeship. <a href="https://twitter.com/jacobarluck">jacob</a> arrives and tells me something really interesting. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i take an uber home.</p>
<p id="mouse" data-date="083124" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> in soho. we go to saturdays to slurp a coffee and find a very small mouse in the back yard. we talk about various topics but i fixate on the mouse the whole time. we walk to battery park city and i get a pile of meat from mighty quinn's inside brookfield place. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i walk home.</p>
<p id="handshake" data-date="083024" data-type="social">i go to dimes to meet <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, eddie, and <a href="https://instagram.com/una.brisa">andres</a>. we sit on the beautiful canal street as garbage trucks rumble by and homeless people ask us for one dollar. i go home to get a hoodie and buy some gum. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> texts me that she is going to a clout-adjacent event that she calls a "house show." after confirming that it's not a skinhead punk event or something of that nature, i walk to a venue which is probably multiple things but i know as <a href="https://instagram.com/mweinbergerr">matt weinberger</a>'s studio. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> and i buy beer from the vending machine and come up with a handshake. we do some jokes and laugh and have a good time and talk to <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a>. i ask <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> who here has clout and she tells me that it's really just <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a> and his friend <a href="https://twitter.com/thelife_ishere">curtis</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/thecobrasnake">mark</a> aka thecobrasnake. <a href="https://instagram.com/thecobrasnake">mark</a> takes pictures of <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> and some other people. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> leaves to hang out with a bisexual person and <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a>, and i go to shinsen. i meet <a href="https://instagram.com/theficksforproblems">sebastian</a> as we're leaving. <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a> asks me to publish his poems. i can't tell what he means and i can't tell if he is trying to dangle clout in front of me to get free or cheap labor or if he is asking me because he respects me and is interested in my vibe or something more wholesome like that. we do an intense business negotiation on delancey street and i agree to help him publish his poetry in the way that i would help a friend. <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a> asks me about my job and i ask him about how funding movies works and we arrive at shinsen where i see <a href="https://twitter.com/luoser">lisa</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/luoser">lisa</a> tells me that her friend <a href="https://instagram.com/yazzjansen">yazz</a> is having her birthday celebration there. she introduces me to <a href="https://instagram.com/yazzjansen">yazz</a>, griffin, and some other people. when i'm done talking to <a href="https://twitter.com/luoser">lisa</a>, i realize that <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a> have left. i walk home.</p>
<p id="toad" data-date="082924" data-type="social">i walk to <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a>'s midday to peruse her furniture and various household items because she's moving soon, and go home with a lamp and some pots after some intense negotiation. after work, i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/charcoonchain">charco</a>'s birthday celebration at toad hall. i invite <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, and they arrive. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/_b33ts">bita</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/lobstermindset">lily</a>, and briefly <a href="https://twitter.com/jierlich">jonah</a>. i meet prez, <a href="https://twitter.com/thealexturley">alex</a>, and some other people for the first time. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> drags <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and me into an errand that he has to run, and we see <a href="https://twitter.com/vinnyguadagnino">vinny</a> from jersey shore outside of his friend's affluent residence near hudson square.</p>
<p id="jetski" data-date="082824" data-type="social"><a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> meets me outside her apartment and we go to jimmy john's for jjblts. we go to her rooftop and eat the jjblts while we work. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> says she prefers a sandwich from subway to the jjblt. we do our jobs. i look at one manhattan square while i work. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> asks me questions about her taxes and i answer them despite knowing very little about taxes, especially taxes for a non-u.s. citizen such as her. we finish work and go to the pier and watch people on jetskis. i walk home, walking directly past one manhattan square on the way.</p>
<p id="moralcrema" data-date="082724" data-type="mention">i am mentioned in <a href="https://www.moralcrema.com/adaptogens-and-alcohol">moral crema</a>.</p>
<p id="rabbit" data-date="082624" data-type="social">i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s to cowork. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/nogoodtwts">keeks</a> are there when i arrive and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> arrives much later. i work for a while and then feel restless and go for a long walk. when i get back, <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> makes a delicious pasta with rabbit and some eggplant and some veal with peas and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> makes some chocolate chip cookies. i eat it up and then <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i blast off to manhattan on the j train. </p>
<p id="henry" data-date="082524" data-type="social">i meet up with <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalcultures">raymond</a> for the first time at betty on henry street. we mostly discuss crypto and crypto culture, which necessitates a discussion of grifting. i walk home.</p>
<p id="jarthur" data-date="082424" data-type="mention">i am referenced on <a href="https://diary.jarthur.online/p/aug-23-24-24">j arthur diary</a>.</p>
<p id="rizztopia" data-date="082424" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> at stumptown to optimize <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a> and make sure its data can be mined for centuries to come. <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> spits out data of all types while i make minor edits to an html file. i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> arrives shortly after me. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> makes a bunch of chicken and eggplant and other foodstuffs. <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> arrives with her "cousin" <a href="https://instagram.com/itstinacolada">tina</a>, immediately revealing that <a href="https://instagram.com/itstinacolada">tina</a> is famous on tiktok for lying, and later revealing that <a href="https://instagram.com/itstinacolada">tina</a> is not in fact her cousin but that she simply said they were cousins because they "spent all day together." i find the extreme bastardization of the word inspiring. <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> recently lost something very important and recounts the loss in detail. in the story, she engages in the exact same behavior that caused her to experience the loss three more times in the same night, seemingly unable to learn her lesson. we toast and celebrate her loss before eating our meal outside on the deck. <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> joins us after dinner as <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/itstinacolada">tina</a> do several comedic bits. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, and i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/camidarling">cami</a>'s apartment for her birthday celebration. i drink a lot of spindrift and eat her sushi and meet some of her friends. <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> arrives and then i immediately tell everyone that i need to be at <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a>'s for rizztopia but need someone else to buy the uber because my phone is conveniently at 2%. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> gets an uber to <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a>'s and i begin the demanding and strenuous job of hosting the party. i immediately talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a> and then <a href="https://instagram.com/isacorcoran">isa</a>. i say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/ceshe83">christian</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/bea_pam_a">pam</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/johngh93">john</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/elizardbethc">elizabeth</a> arrives. <a href="https://twitter.com/hellosami">sami</a> arrives. <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/itstinacolada">tina</a> arrive and <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> starts doing dance routines. <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> comes with <a href="https://twitter.com/geneverwhat">genevieve</a> and starts waiting for <a href="https://twitter.com/ryanb______">ryan</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/geneverwhat">genevieve</a> mentions that i'm doing two parties in a row and asks me what the impetus for my behavior is. i tell her that it's fun. <a href="https://twitter.com/jacobarluck">jacob</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> arrive. <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> sees <a href="https://twitter.com/steviepxyz">stevie</a> across the room and realizes they went to kindergarten together. <a href="https://twitter.com/steviepxyz">stevie</a> doxxes me as a game theory expert to <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> introduces me to his friend <a href="https://twitter.com/namikmuduroglu">namik</a> who tells me that <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a> is funny. <a href="https://twitter.com/manabovetown">nick</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/realityspammer">max</a> pull up. <a href="https://twitter.com/manabovetown">nick</a> tells me he's refreshed to be at a party where he hardly knows anyone. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/orb_net">orb</a> for the first time irl. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/ericwleong">eric</a>. i go outside on the steps which are kind of wet with red paint. <a href="https://twitter.com/space_b0y_">morgan</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ohnoidontkno">salomon</a> arrive. <a href="https://twitter.com/_dianakris">diana</a> arrives. <a href="https://instagram.com/aaoletta">alejandro</a> arrives. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/_retlaw">walter</a>. i try to get everyone to migrate to the back yard. it mostly works and everyone climbs out the window and down the fire escape. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/mayaonthenet">maya</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/_djpn">david</a> and say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/nogoodtwts">keeks</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/gingerkwesi">kwesi</a>. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/geringeradam">adam</a> and then have a long conversation with <a href="https://twitter.com/speciesofvalue">elisabeth</a> where she makes me think a lot about honesty, intention, and lying, which are basically my favorite things to think about and discuss. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a> and then <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a>, who tells me he was just harangued by an egirl. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/samfromvenis">sam</a>. i go into the apartment to pee and talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ryanb______">ryan</a> as they dj off of youtube. i chill in the back yard as the party dies down and say bye to everyone. <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/johngh93">john</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/ericwleong">eric</a> discuss some political stuff and i chime in every once in a while. the party completely dies and rizztopia is over forever. <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/ceshe83">christian</a>, aidan and i chat for a while and i take a lyft home. </p>
<p id="dullchella" data-date="082324" data-type="social">i go to cafe katya to meet <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/orangelizards">jeff</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/_matttttyh">matt</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/hisnameiscarter">carter</a> for dinner. <a href="https://twitter.com/orangelizards">jeff</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/_matttttyh">matt</a> are visiting <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> from toronto and they already know <a href="https://instagram.com/hisnameiscarter">carter</a> by virtue of them all being gay guys. i go home. later, i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> on the street to go to <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>chella. while we're waiting to cross the street, they stop and talk to <a href="https://instagram.com/uhviwe">aviwe</a>, who i meet for the first time. she comes with us to <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>chella but leaves almost immediately. upon arrival to gonzo's, i immediately see <a href="https://twitter.com/returntohegel">nikki</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/bronzeageshawty">shawty</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cass</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/taratorat">tara</a> lounging about in the chill vibe rooms. i have a headache so i ask everyone for tylenol or ibuprofen. no one has any these days so <a href="https://twitter.com/maryjanezazueta">mary jane</a> and i go to cvs nearby. when i come back, i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a> and see <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> outside the venue. when i make it inside, <a href="https://instagram.com/textilecone">annabel</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/moralfagging">linda</a> are sitting in the corner. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/coldhealing">tanner</a> about <a href="https://twitter.com/bladeecity">bladee</a> as usual, and he introduces me to <a href="https://twitter.com/flowrmeadow">eric</a>, lillian, and <a href="https://twitter.com/emericanaconomy">groceries</a>. some guys i don't know get kicked out for doing coke off of their phones without trying to hide it at all despite the fact that security is wandering around. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/space_b0y_">morgan</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/elizardbethc">elizabeth</a>. when <a href="https://twitter.com/space_b0y_">morgan</a> is telling me a crazy story about an ex she met on twitter, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> arrives. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i do a lap and talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/cibolan2000">marcel</a> and his two friends from his mba program. i run into <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a> and then <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a>, and then <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i go outside for a break from the party. <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> tells us about his problems. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i oscillate between inside and outside the party for a while. she eventually leaves after we discuss her tiktok career outside. i see <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> re-enter the party with two ice cream cones and go back inside where i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/tigerlily_vibes">tigerlily</a> and then talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/capnmarbles">maisy</a> and say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/mcrumps">crumps</a>. i say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/kittystremy">kitty</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> talk to me about desci and writing. i meet nick and then say goodbye to <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> before getting on the elevator and divesting from <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>chella. i walk home. </p>
<p id="kratom" data-date="082124" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> at manny janeth cafe near my apartment and we cowork for a moment. we discuss grifting and then i show her how to invest her usdc in a high-yield stablecoin liquidity pool. <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> leaves to go network and i meet <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a> at essex market and we take the train to myrtle broadway. we observe a building that she's considering moving into and then go to maria hernandez park, where we meet <a href="https://twitter.com/petunia_choi">jess</a>. we all walk to brooklyn kava and i order us each a small white kratom. we slurp them down and go to dahlia for burritos and tacos, which we eat in maria hernandez park. i'm off the kratom and feeling amazing when <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> arrives. we all go to cherry on top to chill on the rooftop before <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a> and i exit to take the train home.</p>
<p id="crumpstack" data-date="082124" data-type="mention">i am mentioned on <a href="https://mcrumps.substack.com/p/dont-die">crumpstack</a>.</p>
<p id="life" data-date="082024" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> downtown and we walk to brick lane curry house for indian food. it's his first time eating indian curry. he tells me about his trip upstate, his lore, and things like that. we go to a bar that someone decided to name the scratcher for <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a>'s extremely normal birthday celebration. the bar and the people are really normal and we have a really normal time. <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> tells me she likes the scratcher because it's always empty, but it's not empty because many of her friends are there: <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/skooookum">skooks</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/nexuist">andi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/sweetslverangel">aileen</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/luv2clomp">cass</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/celestialxsigh">sasha</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mongo_lassi">skates</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/rslaney95">ryan</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/taratorat">tara</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/moralfagging">linda</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/corypeterlane">cory</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a>. i discuss a number of topics with people and meet a few people i've never met before. the bar begins to smell of matches or perhaps a smoke bomb. i ask the bartender if this is normal. she says no. a while later, a bunch of firefighters come into the building and sniff around and then leave, explaining that some hooligans set off fireworks nearby and the smell made its way into the bar. it lowkey doesn't make sense based on my knowledge of science and physics and the like, but i roll with it and then eat some of the croissant cookie hybrid that <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> brought before walking home.</p>
<p id="vitality" data-date="081924" data-type="social">i sit in my apartment considering whether or not to go to the descinyc x <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan johnson</a> event where <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a> is answering questions about longevity. it seems like a good opportunity to cloutmaxx but i am feeling tired and gay. i ask for a vibe report in <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>chat. <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> says "don't go don't write about it it's tired and gay." it's a match! i walk to the venue in soho. when i get into the event space i do a lap around the bar and sit with <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cass</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cass</a> is writing an obituary for <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan johnson</a> which she'll read before the event. <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, and their friend <a href="https://twitter.com/briandotmchale">brian</a> find me and say hi. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/elizardbethc">elizabeth</a> before mingling a bit. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/magdajtaylor">magdalene</a>, who's there to cover the event for gq. <a href="https://twitter.com/comradesanchez">jose</a> approaches us and we chat for a bit before i continue my lap and find <a href="https://twitter.com/matthdonovan">matthew</a>, who played a role in organizing the event. <a href="https://twitter.com/matthdonovan">matthew</a> uses his clout and fame to get me a press pass so i can have all the access necessary to write my <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a> post. i go back to <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cass</a>, who have been joined by <a href="https://twitter.com/damianaureli">lapuff</a>. i talk to him for a bit and am asked to be interviewed for the descinyc instagram account. the interviewer asks me why i'm there. i ineloquently say i'm not there for scientific reasons, but for more of an artistic exploration of <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a>'s cult leadership. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/mcrumps">crumps</a> and then make my way to the press-only section and sit with <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cass</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/damianaureli">lapuff</a>. after some introductions, <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cass</a> reads her obituary for <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a>, which is mostly terroristic, fixating on <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a>'s dick and shilling <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>'s upcoming party at gonzo's. <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cass</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> leave, and <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan johnson</a> is shown on the screen for a live interview. toward the beginning of the conversation, i see <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/basedmaterialsm">adrian</a>, and hegelian egirl <a href="https://twitter.com/returntohegel">nikki</a> across the room. during the talk, <a href="https://twitter.com/matthdonovan">matthew</a> asks a question about access to longevity treatments. <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a> doesn't really answer the question and seems quite unconcerned with the distribution of the benefits of the research. on the topic of being accused of "being a grifter" (his words), he says "there's no reason to listen to the opinions of any human ever." <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> and i glance at each other when he says the word grifter. <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a> launches into an aside about how people misunderstand his project as primarily scientific when really his public-facing project is philosophical and social. his goal is to convince people that they should want to live longer and prioritize living longer and abandon the idea that death is inevitable. for much of the back and forth, the panel of question-askers from descinyc and <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a> seem to talk past each other. <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a> is concerned with creating demand for a result: longer, healthier lives. he mostly refuses to go into detail about the methodology of the research. the desci people are extremely concerned with the process of doing research and getting funding and sharing data and results. following a question about the ethical limit of advancing the health of one group at the expense of another, <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a> reveals a hyper-accelerationist commitment. he says he is unconcerned with ethical calculus now because the assumptions we make when doing such calculus will not be relevant assumptions in the near future. with artificial intelligence likely to expand our capacity for reasoning and significantly alter our social conditions, why should we think our paltry ethical concerns are relevant? we can offload these issue to the ai supergenius of the future! the obvious consequence of this logic is that we solve the scientific and technological problems now and worry about the distribution of the benefits and potentially harmful consequences later when we are better equipped to understand them using our 100x'ed reasoning power. i consider that the line of thinking makes sense if you assume an ai superintelligence that can solve ethical calculus problems is inevitably coming soon, but the interest that one of the richest people on earth might have in convincing the masses that they needn't worry about distribution of benefit or the negative consequences of his business on society at large is obvious. <a href="https://twitter.com/matthdonovan">matthew</a> asks a question related to the meta-analysis of longevity treatments, and <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a> reiterates that he's less concerned about research methods and is more concerned with creating demand for the results of the research so that people can pursue those results in whichever way they want. i realize that <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a>'s reason for being here is similar to mine: he's not here to talk about science. he's here for artistic reasons: to construct a narrative and ask people to identify with a movement. in his own words, to create demand. he wants to talk on a philosophical and visionary level. <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">josh</a> taps me and says hi to me. <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a> does super based utilitarianism and talks about how cigarettes and happy meals are genocidal. he makes parting comments encouraging people to live healthier lives, emphasizing the social nature of humans and reminding us that mimicry is powerful and we should try to get people to mimic healthy behaviors. i notice that <a href="https://twitter.com/bryan_johnson">bryan</a>'s rhetoric is split into two narratives: one that is unconcerned with the immediate or near-term distribution of the benefits of his own high-impact health-related behavior (longevity research) because he assumes the problem is better solved later, and one that implies that each audience member is, at this moment, responsible for the social impact of their relatively low-impact health-related behavior (eating well, going to bed early, etc.). when the talk concludes, i'm left thinking that i sort of vibe with the radical nature of what he's doing, but am confused by the way it's communicated and moralized. as i get up from my seat and make my way toward the exit, i think that he would be better off being more straightforward about the obsessive and narrow nature of his vision rather than diluting it in a seemingly incautious way. it also occurs to me that perhaps he must give people a mandate or a responsibility in order for them to get on board with what he's doing, but i wonder why the mandate is framed primarily as socially beneficial rather than exclusively self-interested. the talk concludes and i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/dogwhistl3">darias</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> before leaving the building and walking home.</p>
<p id="donation1" data-date="081824" data-type="donation"><a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> gives me $1 to support <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a>.
<p id="evil" data-date="081724" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> outside scarr's pizza and get a cold brew at cafe grumpy. we sit in seward park and he tells me his promotional strategy for the upcoming <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>chella. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> texts us to come hang out with her, <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a>, so we go to hang out with <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> at <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a>'s apartment. <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> generates a bunch of promotional ai videos for <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>chella while we have ideas. people say stuff about angelicism and vibe shifts and things of that nature. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> rocks out with <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a>'s blow-up guitar. <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a> buys weed and gives me three copies of his recent book, too evil to die young, which i paid for in advance. i buy a lasagna pizza. <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> comes with me to pick it up and discusses his recent sobriety. we go back and i scarf most of the pizza. <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a> and i discuss economics and cloutnomics as well as finance and business. everyone starts talking about how they want to take out a gun and play with it and shoot it. i become uncomfortable and leave. <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> comes with me. i get a drink at the deli and come back for a while. i walk to bushwick and hang out with <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> in their apartment. we all look through <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a>'s book and <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a> tells me about their roach problem. i leave to go to <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>'s birthday party. i arrive at his apartment and give him a copy of <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a>'s book as a gift. people leaf through it and find it really interesting. i say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/space_b0y_">morgan</a>. i give myself a self-guided tour of <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>'s palatial apartment. i talk to <a href="https://instagram.com/deansace_official">dean</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/emmafaidley">emma</a> and meet <a href="https://instagram.com/lilmoflow">moses</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/squibs">squibs</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/em0tionull">null</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/mayaonthenet">maya</a> for the first time. we sing happy birthday to <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> and then everyone goes to birdy's. birdy's is lowkey loud so i take the train home.</p>
<p id="holynchella" data-date="081624" data-type="social">i arrive at the <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> x <a href="https://twitter.com/rachellebonja">rachelle</a> function in fort greene and buzz up to <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a>'s apartment. my understanding of the event is colored by commentary on last year's rendition, which was billed as an "arab party" and guests were encouraged to bring arab guests. attendees reported that the majority of last year's attendees were white. this year is similar. i'm greeted by <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> and briefly talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/rachellebonja">rachelle</a>. shortly after i arrive, <a href="https://twitter.com/downloadlos">los</a> pulls up. i know things about him already through mutual friends so i try to tell him as much as i can about his life (two facts) and he confirms the information is correct. <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> introduces me to <a href="https://twitter.com/parinlalala">parin</a>. i meet hannah and say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/abbyjaye_">abby</a>, who i met once before at a dinner. <a href="https://twitter.com/abbyjaye_">abby</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/mackxdav">mack</a> talk about some crypto stuff. i talk to malek and <a href="https://twitter.com/wesamo__">wesam</a> for a while before <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> arrive. <a href="https://instagram.com/dennis___li">dennis</a> arrives and <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> arrives with moka. <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> introduces me to his friend <a href="https://twitter.com/lukevanderploeg">luke</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> tell me they're leaving for <a href="https://twitter.com/holyn">holyn</a>'s birthday party. i leave with them and <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> joins. we take an uber to manhattan and go to the back of some hotel bar to find <a href="https://twitter.com/holyn">holyn</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/nogoodtwts">keeks</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/html_tina">tina</a>. everyone at holynchella is hot and there is an open bar so <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> lose decorum and order many drinks. i run into <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/jacobarluck">jacob</a> shows up. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/0xballoonlover">david</a>, and we're kicked out of the private room because it's closing. <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/jacobarluck">jacob</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>, and i go to benvenuto cafe and i eat a delicious panini. they get in an uber and i walk home. i run into <a href="https://twitter.com/luoser">lisa</a> outside time again and she tells me about her recent trips to hawaii and other interesting locations. i also see <a href="https://twitter.com/manabovetown">nick</a> in the distance but i never make it to him before he leaves. <a href="https://twitter.com/luoser">lisa</a> and i consider going out but ultimately decide against it and i walk the rest of the way home.</p>
<p id="uniswap" data-date="081524" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/mikehenne">mike</a> on the train. we take it to williamsburg and walk to kidsuper for uniswap happy hour. i say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/brennerspear">brenner</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/alessio_joseph">joseph</a> and go to the back yard. <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> arrives. <a href="https://twitter.com/camidarling">cami</a> and her roommate <a href="https://instagram.com/karisahope">karisa</a> arrive. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/winnyeth">winny</a> about the "lost tapeworm" poster she found in williamsburg and meet <a href="https://twitter.com/nir_iii">nir</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/sodofi_">sophia</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/brennerspear">brenner</a> tells me that burning man is for gay people. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/chaserchapman">chase</a>. i say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/mashahealy">masha</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/youfoundanisha">anisha</a> and meet <a href="https://instagram.com/its_all_amal">amal</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> arrives. i mingle for a bit and meet some other people and then go to a gorgeous outdoor mexico city-esque space called tabu with <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/camidarling">cami</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/mikehenne">mike</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/karisahope">karisa</a>. i see that <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> is nearby on find my friends so i invite him and he pulls up. i take the train home.</p>
<p id="rashchella" data-date="081324" data-type="social">i go to the downtown brooklyn panera bread to cowork with <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> for several hours. it's cold and the music is loud but we persevere, getting several refills and oscillating between locked in moments of silence and talking at 3000 words per minute at a rather high volume. i go home and then go to bushwick. <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> meet me at the monkey king where we eat a duck and some other stuff. we walk through the idyllic streets of bushwick to famously incinerated nightclub rash. i say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/jarodzsz">jarod</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/bitethehan">hannah</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/happyteers">ray</a>. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/elizardbethc">elizabeth</a>, who expresses disapproval at the false narratives that i constructed to frame the night. she tells me she expected lots of people since over 600 people rsvp'ed to rashchella. i admit that i falsified the attendee numbers. she still graciously promulgates my lie that <a href="https://twitter.com/ella_emhoff">ella emhoff</a> is present at the event online. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/gooochpuncher">mya</a> and then go outside and find <a href="https://twitter.com/ursickfantasy">kristen</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/famousboyfriend">justin</a>. i go to birdy's for a while to visit <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ryanb______">ryan</a> who are sitting outside. <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> arrives, followed by <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>. we get a drink and sit outside before <a href="https://twitter.com/capnmarble">maisy</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/space_b0y_">morgan</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/luv2clomp">cass</a> arrive and join us. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> arrives and i go inside to use the restroom. inside, i encounter <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, who introduce to <a href="https://instagram.com/deansace_official">dean</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/emmafaidley">emma</a>. i go into rash and talk to <a href="https://instagram.com/ntrllite">blake</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/emilyeberger">emily</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/tarunchitra">tarun</a> arrives and asks me about my life. i start talking to some gay guys: casey, <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a>. i dance with <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a> and they reveal that a certain chill gay guy friend of ours has a large and luxurious property in hawaii, which we plot to pillage. <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a> arrives on the dance floor. i see <a href="https://twitter.com/______4l5">annie</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/fabergesailor">joseph</a> outside. <a href="https://twitter.com/manabovetown">nick</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/basedmaterialsm">adrian</a> ask me why there aren't 600 people. i tell <a href="https://twitter.com/manabovetown">nick</a> that i lied about some stuff but i learned my lesson about how lying is bad, which is a lie. <a href="https://twitter.com/basedmaterialsm">adrian</a> introduces me to <a href="https://twitter.com/tailinmymouth">kristine</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/rachel__horvath">rachel</a>. i say hi to <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a> data scientist <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> and then <a href="https://twitter.com/realityspammer">max</a> introduces me to thea, who leaves because it's too loud, before telling me he does not like to appear on lists. <a href="https://twitter.com/jareddowning_">jared</a> pulls up and <a href="https://instagram.com/mikehenne">mike</a> arrives straight from the airport with a backpack to spend his first ever moments in new york at rash. <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/moseph._">moe</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a> drop by because <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a> is looking for the love of her life, but they leave because they find it more likely that love can be found at happyfun hideaway. <a href="https://twitter.com/alex_williamsa">alex</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/morejelly">jasper</a> pull up. <a href="https://twitter.com/siddjain99">sidd</a> arrives, and <a href="https://twitter.com/ursickfantasy">kristen</a> plays various bangers before ending her set with diet pepsi by <a href="https://twitter.com/whoisaddison">addison rae</a>. the crowd cheers. i mingle, talk to <a href="https://instagram.com/lecamille__">camille</a> outside about her recent trip to san francisco, and then get on the train with <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/mikehenne">mike</a> to go home.</p>
<p id="gobble" data-date="081224" data-type="social">i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>'s toward the end of the workday. while i'm finishing my work, she makes some scrumptious italian appetizers. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> arrives and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> makes pasta and meatballs. we gobble it up in about ten minutes and then go to the roof of <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>'s extremely luxurious building to eat a pistachio cake and enjoy the views. it gets cold so we go inside and watch tv for a bit and i go home.</p>
<p id="bridge" data-date="081124" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> near my apartment and we go to 99 canal to meet <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a>. we struggle to get in but eventually find <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and he takes us to the roof where <a href="https://twitter.com/geneverwhat">genevieve</a> is vibing. we put an end to her peace and <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> plays the same video of her boyfriend off of his phone at least 10 times. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> and i leave to walk around. we pass one manhattan square and sit under the manhattan bridge discussing grifting. i get a juice at shan fu and go home.</p>
<p id="faithchella" data-date="081024" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> in my neighborhood and we grab a coffee at little canal. <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> texts me that he's in the east village so we walk toward him and meet him on houston. we go to cafe himalaya and discuss <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>'s and <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a>'s tiktok careers. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s apartment. <a href="https://twitter.com/raffisapire">raffi</a> arrives and i hand her the key and give her a tour of the apartment. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s apartment and chill about. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, and i go to taqueria al pastor and then buy a bottle of tequila to give to <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a>. we walk to <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a>'s apartment for her 26th birthday party, <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a>chella. when we arrive, i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/samnlerner">sam</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/largecalves">sydney</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kailey13338834">kailey</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/fettyschwapp">maddie</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/ohnoidontkno">salomon</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/renacjohnson">rena</a>. i meet <a href="https://instagram.com/amatiln">matalin</a>. i spend most of my time at the party on the front porch, where i meet <a href="https://instagram.com/sabbrii_">sabrina</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/amanda.kraus">amanda</a>. <a href="https://instagram.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/luv2clomp">cass</a> arrive seemingly so that <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> can use the household fridge as cold storage for her takeout. <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> tells me that she wants to do a project where she maliciously psychoanalyzes our friends. <a href="https://twitter.com/jonahgraber">jonah</a> arrives and i meet <a href="https://instagram.com/maggiezielinski">maggie</a>. <a href="https://instagram.com/brennanbahr">brennan</a> comes and tells me that it was rather presumptuous to "add all of my friends to a group chat." i remind him that the <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a> group chat does not consist of my friends but rather everyone i meet that i'm able to find on twitter, but i don't argue with the accusation of presumption. <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> makes everyone sing one direction. <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> gives a speech about faith and <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> tells <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> she looks like <a href="https://twitter.com/charli_xcx">charli xcx</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> tells <a href="https://instagram.com/renacjohnson">rena</a> she looks like <a href="https://twitter.com/oliviarodrigo">olivia rodrigo</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> ubers home. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i go upstairs to say bye to everyone. <a href="https://twitter.com/largecalves">sydney</a> makes ableist comments to me. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i exit <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a>chella, get in a revel, and go home.</p>
<p id="lax" data-date="080824" data-type="social"><a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> pokes into my room to say goodbye before he goes to work. i return the house key to <a href="https://instagram.com/hernamewaslilith">lilith</a> and go to lax. i fly to new york and lyft home.</p>
<p id="olympic" data-date="080724" data-type="social">i rehash the previous night with <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> in his bedroom and talk to <a href="https://instagram.com/hernamewaslilith">lilith</a> about the olympics in their living room. <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> and i go to 7-eleven and then eat thai food and go to bed.</p>
<p id="aoc" data-date="080624" data-type="social">i wake up and immediately see <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> and don't wish him a happy birthday. i meet his roommate <a href="https://instagram.com/peenpoon">robert</a>. i go to downtown los angeles to work and everyone starts wishing <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> a happy birthday in a group chat. i do a walking tour of skid row. i call a lyft from the middle of the neighborhood and the lyft driver tells me that jesus loves me and has a plan for me. i text <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> to have a happy birthday. i go back to <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a>'s and watch the olympics with <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/hernamewaslilith">lilith</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> and i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/grlbetso">betsy</a>'s luxurious home which has a massive ornate mirror and a pool in the back yard. their friend <a href="https://twitter.com/scallywaaaag">skiah</a> arrives with a bottle of wine and we lounge in a luxurious manner in the back yard before going to AOC for <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a>'s birthday dinner. we meet alyssa and <a href="https://twitter.com/rawnnick">nick</a> at the bar and have a large delicious meal consisting of not only food but beverages as well. we discuss typical los angeles topics such as famous celebrities, chappell roan, and the entertainment industry, among other things. alyssa and <a href="https://twitter.com/rawnnick">nick</a> depart and <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/scallywaaaag">skiah</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/grlbetso">betsy</a>, and i go back to <a href="https://twitter.com/grlbetso">betsy</a>'s where she djs. her sister <a href="https://instagram.com/looneypoptart">clark</a> arrives. we uber to a bar called apt 200 where <a href="https://twitter.com/beebigbe">bhargava</a> meets us. we dance and drink before blasting home.</p>
<p id="key" data-date="080524" data-type="social"><a href="https://instagram.com/hernamewaslilith">lilith</a> gives me a key to the house. <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> and i go to a mexican restaurant called sonoratown where i have a really good burrito.</p>
<p id="boba" data-date="080424" data-type="social">hilary arrives at our airbnb to give <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">josh</a>, and braden a ride. they hop in a car and i hop in the other car with <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/aleqth">aleqth</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>. we all go to a diner in idyllwild and then hit the road. i get dropped off at <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a>'s house. i meet his roommate <a href="https://instagram.com/hernamewaslilith">lilith</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/volcelfry">charlie</a> and i go to culver city to go to boba guys and eat some sushi. he drives up to the hills so we can watch the sunset and then he drives me through part of the valley for the first time ever while telling me its lore. we go home and go to bed.</p>
<p id="ravine" data-date="080324" data-type="social">i wake up and eat breakfast with <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/aleqth">aleqth</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">josh</a>, and braden. <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> creates and publishes <a href="https://immutabletweets.com">immutabletweets.com</a>. we get coffee and breakfast and meet <a href="https://twitter.com/m1guelpf">miguel</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ruedart">ana</a> at the coffee shop. they need a ride to fest so i go in the trunk so we can fit them in the car. <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/aleqth">aleqth</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">josh</a>, braden, and i explore the river near the idyllwild campus that people call the grotto. the views in the ravine are simply gorgeous. i imagine the rocks falling from the mountains and killing us. i go with <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a> to talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/efdotstudio">efdot</a>, and then meet <a href="https://twitter.com/juannananas">juanna</a> at uniswap cafe. i run into <a href="https://twitter.com/dcbuild3r">dc</a> sitting at a picnic table and then go to a talk about some novel economic mechanism but i can't really pay attention so i leave. i go to a club chess event where i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/corrineciani">corrine</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/aleqth">aleqth</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a> obliterates me at chess. <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/aleqth">aleqth</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, and i go to watch the sunset over the mountains and take some pictures. <a href="https://twitter.com/aleqth">aleqth</a> and i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/efdotstudio">efdot</a> and his friend before we all watch the <a href="https://twitter.com/agcook404">a.g. cook</a> performance at the main stage. after <a href="https://twitter.com/agcook404">a.g. cook</a>, the squad goes to see dj python and i find <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a> hanging out with <a href="https://twitter.com/petunia_choi">jess</a> who i had previously discussed <a href="https://twitter.com/lenadunham">lena dunham</a> with. we make plans to watch the northman and drink kratom. i meet a bunch of other people at the dj python thing that i don't remember. <a href="https://twitter.com/aleqth">aleqth</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, and i take a shuttle to an italian restaurant called ferro where everyone is partying and vibing. <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a> is djing when we arrive. i meet ali and talk to <a href="https://instagram.com/bargainhuntersorbalmain">sarah</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/iltimasdoha">iltimas</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>'s friend alice gives <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/aleqth">aleqth</a>, and i a ride home.</p>
<p id="grotto" data-date="080224" data-type="social">i wake up in a palatial and spectacular cabin in the beautiful idyllwild california. i am helpless and unable to legally drive so <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> takes me to the town to buy a toothbrush. we come back to the airbnb and have breakfast with <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">josh</a>. <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, and i drop <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a> off at the fest so he can participate in a galaxy-brained roundtable discussion and i go to get my festival wristband. while trying to figure out where to get my wristband, i run into <a href="https://twitter.com/seanxthielen">sean</a> and his friend and they give me a 300 foot ride from the wrong location to the right location. i take a shuttle to the fest and meet <a href="https://twitter.com/juannananas">juanna</a> at uniswap cafe. she introduces me to <a href="https://twitter.com/bdguan">brian</a>. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/winnyeth">winny</a> and then go to <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a>'s roundtable discussion about brat summer and memes and stuff like that. i rejoin with <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a> to look for hidden figurines strewn across the idyllwild campus and meet <a href="https://twitter.com/aleqth">aleqth</a>. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/alessio_joseph">joseph</a> irl for the first time, run into <a href="https://twitter.com/brennerspear">brenner</a>, and then go to a talk about the metaphysics of party culture. i see <a href="https://twitter.com/poolnoodle93">saarim</a> at the talk and go outside to meet <a href="https://twitter.com/0xpenryn">penryn</a>. the squad goes to uniswap happy hour and i drink a bunch of whiskey pineapples. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/m1guelpf">miguel</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ruedart">ana</a>, see <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a>, and then mix with the uniswap people, including <a href="https://twitter.com/chaserchapman">chase</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mashahealy">masha</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/alessio_joseph">joseph</a>, dom, and jordan. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/corrineciani">corrine</a> and then <a href="https://twitter.com/juannananas">juanna</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a>, and i hop in their car to go to an italian restaurant where <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a> encourages <a href="https://twitter.com/juannananas">juanna</a> and i to grift harder. we stop at <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/juannananas">juanna</a>'s luxury yurt and i play in the babbling brook while <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a> takes a nap and <a href="https://twitter.com/juannananas">juanna</a> gets ready to go back to the fest. after bullying <a href="https://instagram.com/maya_k5">maya</a> to get up for a while, we go to the fest and see <a href="https://twitter.com/perfumegenius">perfume genius</a>. we head to the other side of the campus to go to some dj sets and socialize. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/chrismartz">chris</a>, meet up with <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a>, and talk to a girl from mexico. i see famous celebs <a href="https://twitter.com/zackfox">zack fox</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/ka5sh">ka5sh</a> but don't talk to them and then go home.</p>
<p id="kathypill5" data-date="080124" data-type="mention">i am mentioned in <a href="https://kathypill.substack.com/p/charades">kathypill</a>.
<p id="flight" data-date="080124" data-type="social">i lyft to jfk in the wee hours of the morning and fly to los angeles. i hop off the plane at lax and meet up with <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>. we rent a car and go to the in-n-out right by the airport where i demolish two burgers. we go back to the airport to pick up <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">josh</a> and drive to idyllwild. we get to the airbnb and "settle in" (throw our luggage into the bedrooms) before going to get groceries to make breakfast and a lot of beer. we all eat an an italian restaurant and then go to basecamp/fwb fest. at the site, i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/being_on_line">ruby</a> and run into <a href="https://twitter.com/juannananas">juanna</a>. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/juannananas">juanna</a> about wisconsin and santa barbara, i briefly talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/stefdelev">stef</a>, and the event staff kick us out. <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/pitter_patter_">levi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/clay_devlin">clay</a>, and i drop <a href="https://twitter.com/juannananas">juanna</a> off and go back to the airbnb.</p>
<p id="bye" data-date="073124" data-type="social">i go to dayglow for my "leaving new york" get-together because i'm leaving new york for one week. no one is there on time so i sit outside sipping my totoro beverage. <a href="https://twitter.com/alex_williamsa">alex</a> drops by for a while on his way to the airport to go to michigan. <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> pulls up, followed by <a href="https://twitter.com/capnmarble">maisy</a>, who gives me a gorgeous going away card. <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/fettyschwapp">maddie</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> also come and we sit outside slurping down various drinks and discussing various topics. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> brings moka. <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> divests from the group and we go to maria hernandez park and continue to discuss topics. <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a> meets us there, fresh off a flight from california. the group disperses and i get on the train with <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> to go home.</p>
<p id="summit" data-date="073024" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/ryanchern">ryan</a> in my neighborhood and then walk around the gdsa (greater dimes square area) and go to seward park. we talk about defi and then he asks me a bunch of questions about dimes square lore. he tells me about crypto anon lore and we both walk home. <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> tells me to come to winnie's. i want more people to come so i make a flyer for the "<a href="https://twitter.com/quasimatt">quasimatt</a> cultural summit." when i arrive at winnie's, i see <a href="https://twitter.com/space_b0y_">morgan</a> and she tells me that it's <a href="https://twitter.com/luv2clomp">cass</a>'s birthday party and that's why everyone is meeting up. i feel horrible for attempted hijacking of <a href="https://twitter.com/luv2clomp">cass</a>'s birthday but soon realize that it doesn't freaking matter and no one freaking cares. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/mongo_lassi">skates</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/colludingnode">c-node</a> pulls up. <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a> arrives and i talk to him about disc golf. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/luv2clomp">cass</a> and say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> and his texan friend <a href="https://twitter.com/rental">collin</a> come and <a href="https://twitter.com/rental">collin</a> does some pr for texas by advertising their barbecue and bravely admits to being a fellow <a href="https://twitter.com/jxxyy">joeyy</a> stan. latina <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> arrives. i greet <a href="https://twitter.com/diawlectical">zach</a> and talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/dongbussy">aaron</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a> arrives and takes me outside where <a href="https://twitter.com/lethalrejection">giliann</a> is vibing. we stay outside for a while before a gaggle of skaters begins to claim the outdoor space as their own. while we're fighting the normie vs. skater turf war, <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> arrives. i offer to help her look for a job in event planning because she is looking for a job as an event planner. i offer to help <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a> look for a job as a designer because he is looking for a job as a designer and has a portfolio available at <a href="https://shaumbe.com">shaumbe.com</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/luv2clomp">cass</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/space_b0y_">morgan</a>, andres, yurii, <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/lethalrejection">giliann</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a>, and i go to dim sum palace. <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> orders a bunch of food for the table in collaboration with some others who have fake dietary restrictions. <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> doxxes <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> as a twinkphile. when <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> presents a theory of the twink that is behavioral and not rooted in body type, i press her to fully conceptualize behavioral twinkhood. she successfully describes a quiet power that's wielded by twinks, convincing me that the word twink describes a social mode enabled by the twink's ability to quietly command attention. the conversation lulls just in time for <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a> to announce "yeah my gay boyfriend likes drain gang!" we finish our meal and everyone venmos me immediately. we exit dim sum palace and i walk with <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a> to the train station before going home.</p>
<p id="betty" data-date="072924" data-type="social">i go to famed henry street restaurant betty for dinner. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> is there when i arrive, fresh off the plane from italy. i ask her about her trip and her return to america and she expresses a fear of society catalyzed by her relative isolation on the coast of italy for about a month with <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/natn3t">nat</a>. we get a scrumptious apple pie for desert and i wait with her for the m9 bus. when it arrives, she boards and i walk home.</p>
<p id="cinnabon" data-date="072824" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> at the dumbo cinnabon. we split a cinnamon roll and then walk to through brooklyn heights. we go to poppy's and then visit an aapi protest/rally event in cadman plaza park. we walk through vinegar hill and go to commodore barry park. i walk to the f train and go home.</p>
<p id="india" data-date="072724" data-type="social">i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>'s apartment to find him and <a href="https://twitter.com/nogoodtwts">keeks</a> in the midst of a grifting session. they wrap up their current grift and we hop in <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>'s car to go to jackson heights for indian food at samudra. after we finish our meal, we explore jackson heights. everything is really indian. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> gets an indian snack called paan and <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/nogoodtwts">keeks</a> both get some rose syrup. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> drives us back to his place, and <a href="https://twitter.com/nogoodtwts">keeks</a> leaves. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> and i chill on the roof for a while and then watch milf manor 2 until 3:30am, when i go home.</p>
<p id="easyfun" data-date="072624" data-type="social">i pull up to moma ps1 to see <a href="https://twitter.com/easyfunnn">easyfun</a>. i walk in to his divine remix of domino by <a href="https://twitter.com/jessiej">jessie j</a> before finding <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/halsey.wav">david</a>. we jam out to some tunes and purchase some alcoholic beverages. i drink a warm pink whitney shooter that <a href="https://instagram.com/halsey.wav">david</a> brought. when <a href="https://twitter.com/easyfunnn">easyfun</a>'s set is over, i immediately leave to go to planet rose as part of <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a>'s event, <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a>dependence day, which celebrates the end of her employment. i get to planet rose before the group and grab some pizza nearby. <a href="https://twitter.com/largecalves">sydney</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kailey13338834">kailey</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/fettyschwapp">maddie</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/renacjohnson">rena</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/_mystafai_">faisal</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/lil.elise">elise</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/moseph._">moe</a> all arrive together and meet me outside. we consume alcohol and people perform various songs that i don't know as well as a couple songs that i do know. <a href="https://twitter.com/seriouslyfaith">faith</a> tells me about her <a href="https://instagram.com/leandunham">lena dunham</a> live action roleplay experience (going to a writer's workshop in iowa). we go to the library for a couple drinks. i see that <a href="https://twitter.com/renott">reno</a> is in new york and a couple avenues away so i text him to meet us there. <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a> and i talk about how our parents don't like gay people. <a href="https://twitter.com/renott">reno</a> arrives with <a href="https://twitter.com/jsteirer">jonathan</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/emily.nmck">emily</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/oliviadrogliano">olivia</a>. i talk to them briefly before <a href="https://twitter.com/renott">reno</a> blasts off for a new adventure. the squad decides to go to mansions which is really freaking far away from where i live, so i go home.</p>
<p id="trapizzino" data-date="072524" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/becomingandrea">drea</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/danscan">dan</a> at trapizzino for an italian meal. they show me pictures of their gorgeous pennsylvania home. we talk about some crypto stuff and some homeless people ask us for money while we're eating. we walk through the lower east side so they can go see a show on a boat. i walk home.</p>
<p id="pulse" data-date="072424" data-type="social">i take a lyft to the pershing square signature center to see a musical about the pulse nightclub shooting called from here. it already started so i have to sit in the late people section instead of with my friends. i watch the musical which is lowkey interesting and then talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a> when it's over. we walk through midtown to the times square subway station and i go home. </p>
<p id="wework" data-date="072324" data-type="social"><a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> meets me in the lobby of his wework at dock 72 in the navy yard and takes me to the firstmate labs office. i take some left over food from the kitchen area and work from the large windowed room with an iconic view of some buildings and stuff of that sort. <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> arrives and we all go to a shawarma restaurant for a late lunch. we discuss triathlons, vacation bible school, and judaism. we go back to the wework to finish out the workday. <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> shows me the memecoin infrastructure he has been shilling lately. <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> gives <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> and me a presentation about public relations in crypto. we have a really informed and insightful discussion where we have lots of correct opinions and takes about how the industry works. <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> and i leave and walk to the f train. i run some errands and then go home.</p>
<p id="kathypill4" data-date="072224" data-type="mention">i am mentioned in <a href="https://kathypill.substack.com/p/laugh-diet">kathypill</a>.</p>
<p id="light" data-date="072124" data-type="social">i arrive at rooftop reds in the brooklyn navy yard and meet up with <a href="https://twitter.com/emailyedelman">emily</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/haiverart">haiver</a>. i'm here because <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> is using her clout and fame to get us all into an art event later but we're assembling on a gorgeous rooftop beforehand. <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> arrives as i'm getting a scrumptious berry-flavored soda, and <a href="https://twitter.com/speciesofvalue">elisabeth</a> comes shortly after. <a href="https://twitter.com/emailyedelman">emily</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/haiverart">haiver</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/speciesofvalue">elisabeth</a> are all artists, so the conversation is often about either art or the social dynamics of their sect of the art world. <a href="https://twitter.com/speciesofvalue">elisabeth</a> tells <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> and me about an exhibition she recently did in berlin where she worked with bakers to make cakes inspired by a poem she wrote. we talk a little about the role of the institution in the art world and i tell her about <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">alex bienstock</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a> shows up extremely late and starts talking about drama in the generative art space. we leave the rooftop and <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> leads us to a building which we think is the art space but which is actually not the art space, so we do an impromptu tour of the spacious building called newlab where scientific discovery and experimentation seems to occur. we eventually make it to the correct building and wait in a large unfinished space with a small bar and props for the upcoming green day tour. <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> introduces the group to <a href="https://twitter.com/nataliaenvy">natalia</a>, who is somehow affiliated with the art and artist. the artist, <a href="https://instagram.com/hovver_">lua</a>, ushers us into the exhibition space. there are two works, which are focused on experimentation with light. the rooms have some sort of fog which makes the lights' rays visible and include mirrors which direct the light into patterns that are interesting. each room also has its own soundscape. it's giving art but it's also giving science. <a href="https://instagram.com/hovver_">lua</a> speaks a bit about each of the works and takes questions. we play with the lights and take some pictures before the group disperses and i take a car home.</p>
<p id="bode" data-date="072024" data-type="social">i drop off my laundry and meet <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a> at bode. we pretend to shop. <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> networks with the bode employees. we leave to go to kiki's. <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a> and i greet each other as he walks by on hester. we eat a meal at kiki's and then <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a>, and i go to shan fu for juices and a slush and then go to a number of clothing stores. <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> networks with the kiki's employees, people sitting on the curb in dimes square, her old coworker that walks past us while we're at shan fu, and then the employees of pretty much every store we enter. <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> does the apple dance in front of a green car on orchard street. i drop <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/addis0nraestan">lindita</a> off at delancey essex and go home. i see that <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> is nearby on find my friends and text him to hang out. i meet him, his friend <a href="https://instagram.com/breet_wheet">brett</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/manabovetown">nick</a> at seward park. we go to sovereign house where there is a launch party for some conservative political magazine. i say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/coldhealing">tanner</a> on the way in. <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> points out that we walked past <a href="https://twitter.com/annakhachiyan">anna khachiyan</a>. inside, i see a bunch of people i have met or recognize, but only really talk to the people i came with, <a href="https://twitter.com/cibolan2000">marcel</a>, and his girlfriend <a href="https://twitter.com/minutesoflyu1">jackie</a>. i go outside with <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/breet_wheet">brett</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/manabovetown">nick</a> for a while before everyone is told they have to leave or go inside. i leave and they go inside. at home, i check find my friends and see that <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ryanb______">ryan</a> are nearby. i text them and they tell me to come to a party at the metalabel office a couple blocks from my apartment. i find <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ryanb______">ryan</a> immediately and then say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/geneverwhat">genevieve</a>, who is bartending, and <a href="https://twitter.com/waifmaterial">chloe</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and i go to time again to meet up with <a href="https://twitter.com/______4l5">annie</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/______4l5">annie</a> introduces me to <a href="https://instagram.com/fabergesailor">joseph</a>. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> outside for a while about his fake magazine and then we go back upstairs to the party before i go home.</p>
<p id="salami" data-date="071824" data-type="social"><a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> tells me to join her at <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a>'s. i go there to find <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/waifmaterial">chloe</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/textilecone">annabel</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/brainbarf_for_jamstown">nate</a> all hanging out in his studio apartment. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a> are writing and <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/brainbarf_for_jamstown">nate</a> seem to be editing the credits of <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a>'s upcoming film. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> and i talk about our writing assignment from <a href="https://instagram.com/justin_lapuff">justin lapuff</a> and she reads her "theory of online" out loud. it's beautiful. she offers me some salami and we eat. a girl named <a href="https://instagram.com/maryjanezazueta">mary jane</a> comes wearing goth pants and we introduces ourselves to each other. <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a> texts me that he's outside. i go to meet him and we go to a bunch of galleries in the lower east side. i stop to get gnocchi. i get a cantaloupe coconut juice at shan fu, and it is the best beverage i've ever had in my entire life. we go to seward park, where i tell <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a> about <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">alex bienstock</a> and show him his book, too evil to die young. <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> walks past us on the way to sovereign house and joins us. <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a> asks me what interesting thing he has to do or say that will be notable enough to mention on <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a>. i tell him anything that aggrandizes me or positions me or <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a> as significant should work. we go to sovereign house for <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/postmotternism">lillian</a>'s event, chinese dollar store, which is a reading about shoplifting and grifting. i say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/mainstreamviews">matthew</a> outside the venue. when i enter, i beeline to <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a>, who introduces <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, and me to justin. i say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/swirlgirl07">chaeli</a> and go to the back yard where <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> and i talk with beckett and then sit on a log with a girl named dasha who tells us that she arrived really early and has been waiting a long time for the event to start. i go inside to tell <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a> to freaking start and am told it will be another ten minutes so i go back to shan fu and get another cantaloupe coconut juice. when i come back, the event starts. <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/postmotternism">lillian</a> explain the theme and format before <a href="https://instagram.com/textilecone">annabel</a> reads. <a href="https://twitter.com/swirlgirl07">chaeli</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/postmotternism">lillian</a> read, and then i leave during the intermission. i'm at home for a while and then pop out to go to excuse my french with <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> for dinner. when we finish our meal, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a> pull up. we start walking to the river and meet up with <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/swirlgirl07">chaeli</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/postmotternism">lillian</a> in the street. <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a> gives me a bomb pop and i go to the river with <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>. it's full so we go to dr. clark's. we sit at a table and discuss things. <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a> eats a hot dog. they go to the river and i walk home.</p>
<p id="shorchella" data-date="071724" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/marshcinquefoil">ali</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/diawlectical">zach</a> in dimes square after they have drinks at clandestino. we walk to kiki's. on the way, we see <a href="https://twitter.com/mcrumps">crumps</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/matthdonovan">matthew</a> and stop briefly to say hi. at kiki's i find <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a> leaves. i talk to the host. the table won't be ready for 45 minutes so we go to reception. i mostly talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> about career stuff and her living situation. when our table is ready, we go back to kiki's. <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/marshcinquefoil">ali</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/diawlectical">zach</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a>, and i enjoy a scrumptious spread of greek food for just $120. the conversation starts out normal but eventually we start discussing some deep lore related to our social group and tell <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> about the degenerate characters we know and love. when we finish our meal, <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a>l, <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/marshcinquefoil">ali</a>, and i leave for <a href="https://twitter.com/davidshor">david shor</a>'s birthday party. it begins to downpour so we hide out under some scaffolding and call an uber. the uber ride is five minutes and drops us off at <a href="https://twitter.com/davidshor">david</a>'s apartment for shorchella. <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a> uses his clout and fame to get me in (the door is ajar with absolutely no one checking who enters). <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a> introduces me to <a href="https://twitter.com/davidshor">david</a>. i look around the apartment, which features a large blow-up igloo in the middle of the spacious living room, a kiddie pool full of plastic balls, a makeshift tent, and a neon sign that reads "no politics." i recognize the pool and balls from party photos, and throughout the night i meet lots of people who say they met <a href="https://twitter.com/davidshor">david</a> at a party. some others met him through politics-related work. i enter the tent in search of a phone charger but never find it. my phone dies. <a href="https://twitter.com/davidshor">david</a> is presented with cupcakes and candles. we sing happy birthday and he makes a speech about how he intentionally kept this gathering on a besties-only vibe. i sneak to the back because i don't know him and the speech is not for me. i talk to <a href="https://instagram.com/manavisinha">manavi</a>, a columbia student with a chill ass vibe, about <a href="https://twitter.com/lenadunham">lena dunham</a>'s girls and her upbringing in manhattan. she introduces me to a couple of her friends. when i leave the tent, i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/steph_zunz">stephania</a>, who all my friends know but i have never met. <a href="https://twitter.com/matthdonovan">matthew</a> arrives and i talk to him about some scene lore and political stuff. i meet a congressional lawyer named elizabeth. she shows me her watercolor greeting cards with morbid messages and then asks me about myself. i tell an abridged version of my life story, intertwining it with an exposition of my theory about why so many gay guys are conniving narcissistic liars, which is really meant to excuse my own behavior. i make sure she knows that when other people are like that it it's bad but when i'm like that it's interesting and artistic and cool. i don't want to stay out late, so i leave shorchella with <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>. on our way out, we run into <a href="https://twitter.com/mcrumps">crumps</a> as he's smoking outside. he asks us who's still at the party and then enters. i walk <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a> to the subway and walk home.</p>
<p id="chellacaust" data-date="071524" data-type="social"><a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> hits me up to go to some sort of <a href="https://instagram.com/mweinburgerr">matt weinberger</a> grill sesh. <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> hits me up to go to someone's birthday at the river. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> explicitly acknowledges that he's inviting me to appear on <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a>. i go to <a href="https://instagram.com/mweinburgerr">matt weinberger</a>'s studio for a backyard grill vibe. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> uses his clout and fame to get me into the event in a social sense, but <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> physically ushers me into the space. i walk through the spacious and beautiful studio to the spacious and beautiful back yard and get in the chair. i sit with <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/textilecone">annabel</a>. they encourage me to venture to the basement, which is the most gorgeous of all and is outfitted sort of like a lounge. the grilling has already occurred and the food has been eaten. <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a> mentions that she's going to <a href="https://twitter.com/unbridled_id">sierra armor</a>'s birthday party, which turns out to be the same thing that <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> invited me to earlier. i ask who <a href="https://twitter.com/unbridled_id">sierra</a> is and <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> tells me she lives in a "right wing trap house." we walk to the river. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/waifmaterial">chloe</a>. when we sit down, i have my first significant conversation with <a href="https://instagram.com/textilecone">annabel</a>, who tells me she's writing a piece about shoplifting that she plans to read at <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a>'s upcoming reading event, chinese dollar store. we go outside because <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/textilecone">annabel</a> want to smoke. <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> pulls up in an uber and we exchange about two sentences. i leave with <a href="https://instagram.com/textilecone">annabel</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a>. i walk home and as i'm about to put my key in my door, <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> texts me that he's going to winnie's. i go to meet him there but winnie's is closed so i talk to him, <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">josh</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/isabella_1317">isabella</a>, who i meet for the first time, in the street. <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">josh</a> asks me if i stopped being gay. they uber home and i walk back to my apartment.</p>
<p id="redhook" data-date="071424" data-type="social">i wake up and am not hungover and thus cannot report that i had a chellacaust, which sort of constitutes a chellacaustcaust. i get on the f train to meet <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/capnmarble">maisy</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> in red hook. <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> texts me that she thinks we're on the same train. i look up and she's sitting across from me. we take the train to carroll gardens and walk to red hook, where we meet <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a> at the park. he's sitting on a bench near the red hook pool reading a book by some problematic and cancelled author. we go to ikea for meatballs and a lingonberry beverage. <a href="https://twitter.com/capnmarble">maisy</a> meets us at ikea. <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> bikes to red hook and meets us at ikea. we peruse the store and go to brooklyn crab. we order the 96 ounce mega moscow mule and a bunch of seafood and are seated in the most gorgeous possible booth on the roof and watch the sun set over the statue of liberty as we enjoy our meal. <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> says it's the most normal thing he's done in three years. we see an extremely large boat close to shore so <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a>, and i go to try and see it up close. we're too late so we hang out at the pier 41 waterfront garden and <a href="https://twitter.com/capnmarble">maisy</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> meet us. we go to sunny's, plan our next trip to red hook over a drink, and discuss various dramas in our social circle. we all head home.</p>
<p id="arielchella" data-date="071324" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a> in bushwick to pregame at left hand path for <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>'s summer party. <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> arrives and we slurp up some alcoholic beverages. we discuss neologisms with suffixes like chella and caust. <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a> suggests that i refer to hangovers as chellacausts. <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a> goes to a birthday party and <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> and i embark on a journey to find the ingredients to serve up pickleback shots at the function. after some trials and tribulations, we procure some jameson and pickles and pull up to <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>chella in ridgewood. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/celestialxsigh">sasha</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a> and introduce myself to <a href="https://twitter.com/lethalrejection">giliann</a>, who i've seen at a house party or two before. i talk briefly with <a href="https://twitter.com/crystalxduan">crystal</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> and i convince people to do picklebacks with us a couple times. i briefly talk to <a href="https://twitter/com/_djpn">david aka djpn</a>. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/skooookum">skooks</a> for the first time. he grills me about my views on lying and intention. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/dongbussy">aaron</a>, who obsesses over the costco guys, and an artsy egirl named <a href="https://twitter.com/space_b0y_">morgan</a>, who encourages me to sue people on a regular basis. when i leave the back patio to use the restroom, i encounter <a href="https://twitter.com/realityspammer">max</a>, who tells me he was at html event in red hook where people were speaking favorably about <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a>. i retreat to a back room with <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/skooookum">skooks</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/skooookum">skooks</a> and i autistically press buttons on a machine that's supposed to control stage lights and stuff like that. we vibe out for a while and <a href="https://twitter.com/celestialxsigh">sasha</a> and i take the train home to manhattan discussing real estate.</p>
<p id="shinsen" data-date="071224" data-type="social">i walk to problematic genius <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a>'s apartment for affluent giga-brained technologist <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s birthday celebration. <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> greets me at the door, and <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> are on the couch when i get there. <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a> are also chilling and vibing. they're playing music videos of old music, drinking coors light, and doing some other more nefarious things. the other latina <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> arrives, and <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> arrives with candles. <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> sneak away to put the candles on the cake that <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> made and someone turns the lights off to create a magical moment when <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> emerges from the kitchen with <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s candle-adorned cake. we sing happy birthday and <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a> blows the candles out. the squad needs beer so <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> offers to grab it and i leave with him. we go to shinsen, where <a href="https://instagram.com/number1fairytale">julian ribeiro</a> of interview magazine is having a birthday party. i've never met him in my life but <a href="https://twitter.com/ursickfantasy">kristen</a> is there with <a href="https://twitter.com/______4L5">annie</a> so i go to say hi. <a href="https://twitter.com/ursickfantasy">kristen</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/______4L5">annie</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, and i sit and talk for a while. <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> and i leave and see <a href="https://twitter.com/dogwhistl3">darias</a> in the street before <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> heads back to <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a>'s and i bounce to bushwick to watch a movie with <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> in their apartment because i'm not really in the mood to socialize, party, and do things of that sort. the l train smells like sour tuna salad. when i get to <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a>'s, <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a> gives me a belated birthday gift: a 3xl t-shirt that features the name and iconography of our favorite extremely poorly reviewed musical with an all-autistic cast: how to dance in ohio. we don't watch a movie but we do get really obsessed with the song i love you always forever by <a href="https://twitter.com/donna__lewis">donna lewis</a> and listen to the original and some covers over and over before i lyft home.</p>
<p id="bladestudy" data-date="071124" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/sawaasays">sowa</a> near my apartment and we walk to <a href="https://instagram.com/blade_study">blade study</a> for the opening of <a href="https://instagram.com/emmy.news">em aull</a>'s exhibition. the work is paintings representing city scenes. we grab spindrift and hang out outside. <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a> arrives as <a href="https://twitter.com/sawaasays">sowa</a> and i are discussing our housing drama, and <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> comes shortly after. we go back into the exhibition for a moment to peruse the art before <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a> suggests that we go to the nearby <a href="https://instagram.com/mweinbergerr">matt weinberger</a> exhibition at the sitting room on henry street. we walk there. there's a huge crowd of stereotypical art world lower east side types with a partylicious vibe outside, and i push my way in with <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/sawaasays">sowa</a>. we see a few pictures of people we know and some celebs and people like that and then leave to grab a drink at clockwork. <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a> meets us there and then leaves to go rave in bed stuy. we go to zia maria in little italy for pasta. <a href="https://twitter.com/sawaasays">sowa</a> announces that <a href="https://twitter.com/katyperry">katy perry</a> has released her much-anticipated single, woman's world. we put our airpods in and listen to it in the restaurant. i search <a href="https://instagram.com/mweinbergerr">matt weinberger</a> on instagram and realize i've seen him at least 20,000 times at every party and event i've ever been to and never realized he was a poc (person of clout). we leave the restaurant and i get on the train to go to <a href="https://instagram.com/rhazed">rohan</a>'s birthday party at a camera store on grand street in williamsburg. i don't know what to expect because <a href="https://instagram.com/rhazed">rohan</a> lives in north carolina to work for <a href="https://twitter.com/mrbeast">mrbeast</a> and yet i've been told over 100 people were invited. i have no clue who they are going to be because it seems unlikely that he could know that many people in new york without living here but it seems he's just famous. i greet <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a> almost immediately. when i go to the backyard, i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>, who invited me, and his friend <a href="https://twitter.com/tayebsss">tayeb</a>. the dj, <a href="https://instagram.com/nickcheo">nick cheo</a>, is extremely good and playing actual bangers. i stop to talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/keirsim">keiran</a> and say hi to <a href="https://instagram.com/asvinveerappan">asvin</a>, who i met last night. <a href="twitter.com/_dianakris">diana</a> runs around doing several comedic bits which i occasionally contribute to, and i meet <a href="https://instagram.com/lennyxdd">lenny</a>, who works with <a href="https://instagram.com/rhazed">rohan</a> at the <a href="https://twitter.com/mrbeast">mrbeast</a> media complex. my phone dies so i don't see the texts and calls from <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> as he tries to figure out how to get to the party, but he makes it in anyway. i talk to <a href="https://instagram.com/paulhill.here">paul</a>, who hosted the cow meet and greet event on broome street where he has a gallery, and <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a> introduces me to <a href="https://twitter.com/adamberninger">adam</a>, who has an online gallery for generative art called <a href="https://twitter.com/tender_art">tender</a>. it seems like everyone is a gallerist these days. <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a> meets us as the event is winding down at around 10:30. we consider attending the <a href="https://instagram.com/rhazed">rohan</a>chella official afterparty but instead i check find my friends and see that <a href="https://twitter.com/alex_williamsa">alex</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/allcaps_christ">christian</a> are nearby at tradesman, so <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a>, and i go there to meet them. <a href="https://twitter.com/alex_williamsa">alex</a> tells me about his recent trip to tokyo and i encourage him to host a party in his apartment this weekend. <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> and i walk to bushwick talking about how everyone at <a href="https://instagram.com/rhazed">rohan</a>chella was attractive and seemed to have some money and i take the train home.</p>
<p id="grift" data-date="071024" data-type="social">i'm at <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s and <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> calls me because he's nearby. i meet up with him, <a href="https://twitter.com/rhazed">rohan</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/rhazed">rohan</a>'s friend <a href="https://instagram.com/asvinveerappan">asvin</a>. we discuss grifting and some other topics while walking around and all go home.</p>
<p id="profile" data-date="070724" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> at sey under the pretense that i'm writing an extremely revealing psychological profile on him for <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a>. we talk about <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>'s cat, and i inadvertently shift the conversation to the holocaust. as a result, we discuss performance on social media and <a href="https://instagram.com/ryder_ripps">ryder_ripps</a>. i find sey a bit too serious, so we relocate to dayglow where i can get a sugary cocktail but with coffee in it instead of alcohol. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> talks about <a href="https://twitter.com/chloe21e8">chloe21e8</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/goth600">goth600</a>, and their approach to memetic analysis and promulgation. we discuss controversy and online meme and lore construction. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> presents a theory of a new humiliation economy, where social dynamics--especially our favorite dynamic, clout-farming--can be most easily understood by examining their humiliating effects. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> has a well-evidenced, robust understanding of farming attention from controversy, the extent of which becomes clear to me for the first time throughout our conversation. we walk to dahlia, eat our scorching burritos in the scorching maria hernandez park, and return to sey for our final caffeination. i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a>'s apartment where he is watching worst roommate ever with <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a>. we ki and <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> arrives. i'm hungry so i leave to get food and then go home.</p>
<p id="boilercaust" data-date="070624" data-type="social">i'm supposed to fly to los angeles but i cancel my flight because i need to deal with boilercaust and my life is too wacky and crazy to leave for a week. i pick up some boxes of <a href="https://twitter.com/searchondora">dora</a> merch from <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>'s apartment and deliver them to <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a>. we get karaage at karazishi botan and <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> gives me the key to his apartment so i can stay there while the aftermath of boilercaust plays out. i say bye to <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a> and they hop in an uber to go to brussels. i go home to deal with boilercaust and then come back to <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s at night.</p>
<p id="damage" data-date="070524" data-type="social">i wake up at around 6am at <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s to <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a> on a work call. i have texts from my property manager saying that the fire department broke into my unit because my faucet was left on. i go home to find that my faucet was in fact not left on and the boiler in the unit above mine broke, causing serious damage to the hallway and part of my unit. i spend all day trying to resolve the issues that resulted from the damage and from the fire department bashing my door in for basically no reason.</p>
<p id="bunnychella" data-date="070424" data-type="social">i arrive at <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s for <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>chella while <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a> are still working. <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> comes shortly after with an extremely large grill and we bring it to the back yard. i connect to <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s speaker and start playing chicken fried by <a href="https://twitter.com/zacbrownband">zac brown band</a> and other songs of that sort. <a href="https://twitter.com/wesamo__">wesam</a> comes and <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a> and i go to buy alcohol. we come back with a bunch of beer, and <a href="https://twitter.com/bhwags">brian</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> show up. <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> has prepared some meats and starts going crazy on the grill on the back yard. <a href="https://twitter.com/bonecondor">birb</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/jamiepastore9">jamie</a> arrive, followed by <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, who also brings moka. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> come. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> and i retreat for a while to talk in the backyard. <a href="https://instagram.com/kaitlynsmith">kaitlyn</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/delta_alpha_ohm">josh</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/tarunchitra">tarun</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/ajmccree_">andres</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/okaysri">sri</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/hotgirlweenie">darlenne</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/nogoodtwts">keeks</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/hellosami">sami</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_dianakris">diana</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/jareddowning_">jared</a> pull up throughout the night, among others. we do a bunch of the jello shots that <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> brought and bring the speaker downstairs. i start doing aux terrorism and playing <a href="https://twitter.com/easyfunnn">easyfun</a> and soundcloud remixes. the party winds down and i sleep on <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s couch.</p>
<p id="kathypill3" data-date="070424" data-type="mention">i am mentioned in <a href="https://kathypill.substack.com/p/well-yes">kathypill</a>.</p>
<p id="bacaro" data-date="070324" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> at a women's clothing store called reformation and we walk to cafe himalaya for dinner before strolling around alphabet city. we end up at a hookah bar for a tea and then go to famous microneighborhood dimes square and get non-alcohol beverages at bacaro. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/jacobarluck">jacob</a> meet us there. we get kicked out because the restaurant is closing and i walk home.</p>
<p id="normal" data-date="070224" data-type="social">on my way back from lunch i see globally famous <a href="https://twitter.com/charli_xcx">charli xcx</a> collaborator <a href="https://twitter.com/itsthedare">the dare</a> on essex street. later, i go to littlefield for <a href="https://twitter.com/mera_angelgirl">mera caulfield</a>'s comedy show "everyone is tortured, but not me. i'm normal." i'm by myself and don't know anyone there, but i see two people i recognize from the internet: <a href="https://twitter.com/wolktress">ivy wolk</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ianisuglyyy">ian</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/littlefucky">jill o'connell</a> hosts the show, which is opened by <a href="https://twitter.com/marleygotterer">marley gotterer</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/victoriapand">victoria pandeirada</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/mera_angelgirl">mera</a> acting out a character named hope that seems to be something like her take on a cookie monster sweatpants and rockstar energy drink girl that grew up and became a waitress. <a href="https://twitter.com/marleygotterer">marley</a> does some impressions of a cockroach with a pronoun pin, golem from lord of the rings ordering at mcdonald's, and mickey mouse gendering someone correctly for the first time ("oh... boy?"). she plays her very own <a href="https://twitter.com/boniver">bon iver</a> woods remix and performs an <a href="https://twitter.com/cheapyxomiami">azealia banks</a> remix about fucking a mormon. her performance is a highlight of the show. <a href="https://twitter.com/victoriapand">victoria</a> does a powerpoint comedy routine which i <a href="https://quasimatt.com/#frog">saw at frog farm</a>, where she tells an absurd-but-true story in which she gives sebastian bear-mcclard a one-handed vasectomy. "hope" (<a href="https://twitter.com/mera_angelgirl">mera</a> in a particularly servacious outfit) does a routine that is adapted from her recent performance at frog farm. the bit is that it's hope's first-ever comedy routine and it's funny because it's funny but also kind of funny because it's intentionally bad in a certain type of way and includes a lot of deviantart images. after a brief intermission, <a href="https://twitter.com/mera_angelgirl">mera</a> starts her main set. the highlight is a series of thought experiments where she imagines her saw trap, which is basically the most torturous situation she can possibly imagine and includes not being able to watch her boyfriend make out with <a href="https://instagram.com/jacobelordi">jacob elordi</a>. my biggest laugh of the night comes when she walks through a trolley problem in which she has to choose between killing <a href="https://instagram.com/honeymoon">lana del rey</a> when she has an amazing album in her head that has not been written or recorded or a pregnant woman. in a departure from comedy, <a href="https://twitter.com/mera_angelgirl">mera</a> reads through a children's book she wrote about a gay pirate. while the story and initial imagery are great and certainly feasible for publication, it's unclear why the reading of a serious and educational children's book is included in the show. at the end, we are all meant to watch a skit video that <a href="https://twitter.com/mera_angelgirl">mera</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/littlefucky">jill</a> made, but technical difficulties cause an unexpected intermission that lasts over 20 minutes. <a href="https://twitter.com/mera_angelgirl">mera</a> and the crowd do an impromptu acapella rendition of <a href="https://instagram.com/honeymoon">lana del rey</a>'s summertime sadness, which is just as absurd as the rest of the performance but markedly wholesome. there are some other shenanigans before the video plays and the show ends. i go home and make the website for <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter vack</a>'s upcoming film <a href="https://rachelormont.com">www.rachelormont.com</a>.</p>
<p id="canadachella" data-date="070124" data-type="social">i stop at 55 fulton market for a watermelon, tortilla chips, red solo cups, and sparkling water on the way to the canadachella x <a href="https://twitter.com/quasimatt">quasimatt</a> birthday dinner hosted by <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> in celebration of both canada day and my birthday. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> in the lobby of her building and we go to her unit where a spread of delectable morsels is waiting for light preparation and consumption. i play some music and eat several servings of <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>'s scrumptious homemade salsa. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> arrives with moka. she gives me a gift which includes a bottle of supergay vodka customized with text that repeats "<a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a>" over and over and a gold bangle, which i have wanted for years but have never bought due to my constant need to larp as poor. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>e arrives and we go to the rooftop to grill ribs and some vegetables. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/wesamo_">wesam</a> meet us on the roof and we start eating and taking pictures of the sunset, each other, and one manhattan square. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> come. <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> gives me a bottle of wine. we finish our meal before <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i go inside to cut the almond desert she made and serve it up to everyone. <a href="https://instagram.com/ranakittens">rana</a> arrives, completing the canadian trifecta with <a href="https://twitter.com/wesamo_">wesam</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>. she has a headband with canadian flags on it. we discuss a number of topics. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/ranakittens">rana</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/wesamo_">wesam</a> become incredibly fixated on drake and canada and debate the legitimacy of drake's pedophilia accusations at length. everyone leaves except for <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, and we stop by <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>'s apartment where she gives me some salsa and much-needed household goods related to hydration because i once told her that i accidentally dehydrated myself half to death. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and i get on the j train and go home.</p>
<p id="gersi" data-date="063024" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> at his apartment and we grab coffee at the cotton bean before going to gersi for a meal. we go back to his apartment and plan the upcoming <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>chella. <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a> wakes from her slumber and joins us as we use <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s dj machine (cdj or something like that) to make music sound way worse than it would if we just played it off of soundcloud. i take the train home while listening to all my favorite <a href="https://twitter.com/agcook404">a.g. cook</a> songs and then i see <a href="https://twitter.com/agcook404">a.g. cook</a> on canal street.</p>
<p id="pirate" data-date="062924" data-type="social">i head to the <a href="https://pirate.com">pirate.com</a> studios in bushwick to meet up with <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> plays a couple beats and does some brief commentary on them ("this is fire"). he turns to me and says "are you ready to see some real kings cook right now? some michelin star chefs?" and proceeds to frantically vape and scroll twitter while <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> works on a pop song. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> disputes a bunch of credit card charges to get some money and we leave to go to <a href="https://twitter.com/ryanbaum">ryan</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/powers26">matt</a>'s rooftop party, stopping for some hennessy and pineapple juice on the way. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> and i vibe at the party and <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> shows up. he does a dj set and then <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/rbirstock">rebecca</a> arrive. <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> comes a bit later. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a>, and i leave to go to the reading of a script that <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> is in at the new school. we take the train to the theater and <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> briefly introduces us to <a href="https://twitter.com/cavehzahedi">caveh</a>, who wrote the script, before the reading begins. i give <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> a swig of hennessy before she performs. <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a>, and i make a fun little joke about doing whippets in the auditorium. i imitate the sound of a whippet really loudly and everyone thinks i'm shushing them and goes silent. <a href="https://twitter.com/cavehzahedi">caveh</a> seizes the moment to begin the reading. the performance is difficult to understand, in part because i'm drunk, in part because it is read rather than acted, and in part because the script itself is simply difficult to understand. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> delivers her lines in the dry and disengaged tone we've come to know and love. when the reading is over, i officially meet <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter vack</a> for the first time and he is normal and nice. <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> exits and <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a>, and i go to taco bell to debrief and eat some delicious and heavily americanized mexican cuisine. we lyft to <a href="https://instagram.com/juuliacooke">julia</a>'s birthday party at gonzo's. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> uses her clout and fame to get <a href="https://instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter</a>, who is hosting, to use his clout and fame to get us in. at first it's lowkey awkward because hardly anyone is there. we talk to annabelle before <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> shows up and starts screaming slurs and smoking cigarettes. throughout the night, i'm shocked by the number of people <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> knows. he greets almost half the party and i realize his popularity transcends my understanding. his social circles are in whole different areas. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/______4L5">annie</a>, meet <a href="https://instagram.com/memetides">forest</a>, and talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">salty aka michael</a> when he arrives. i do a final lap around the party and say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/geneverwhat">gen</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/dogwhistl3">darias</a> before walking home.</p>
<p id="dj" data-date="062824" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> at karazishi botan for dinner and we go to <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s. he recently bought a massive speaker so i play <a href="https://twitter.com/charli_xcx">charli xcx</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/bladeecity">bladee</a> nitecore off of it while an anime fight scene montage plays on the tv. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> arrives and i switch to nitecore <a href="https://twitter.com/drake">drake</a> songs since she is canadian and from (outside of) toronto. we all uber to crystal lake in williamsburg for <a href="https://twitter.com/addigator71">addi</a>'s birthday. <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a> meets us there. we mostly just talk to each other but i also talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/defidave22">defi dave</a> for a bit. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>'s friend <a href="https://instagram.com/el.gypt">steve</a> pulls up and we walk to the barcade to play the drunk driving simulator and pinball. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i take the j home.</p>
<p id="ledive" data-date="062724" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> at le dive for a classic <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> x <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> x <a href="https://twitter.com/quasimatt">quasimatt</a> hang sesh. we eat three different types of salad and ham on top of melon and then go to shan fu for beverages. we head to the street seating at 9 orchard that no one ever uses and use it. we discuss various topics and they get in an uber. i walk home.</p>
<p id="khao" data-date="062624" data-type="social">i walk to pig and khao to meet up with <a href="https://instagram.com/anjali_patil">anjali</a> and her friend <a href="https://instagram.com/jess_lima">jess</a>, who i have never met before. <a href="https://twitter.com/shyfieri">shannel</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ripissa">isabella</a> come and it's revealed that <a href="https://instagram.com/jess_lima">jess</a> is their friend from when they all worked together so they all already know her. we finish our meal and go to van leeuwen where i get a root beer float for $11 and then walk home.</p>
<p id="dhamaka" data-date="062524" data-type="social">i walk to dhamaka for <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a>'s birthday dinner and find <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a> standing outside. <a href="https://instagram.com/rbirstock">rebecca</a> shows up shortly after. <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a> joins, and <a href="https://instagram.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> is the latest. we enjoy a servacious meal consisting of lamb, chicken, and some other stuff, all prepared in a rather indian fashion. <a href="https://instagram.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> suggests we go to parkside lounge because it's "kind of gay but not really." we go there for a couple drinks and are joined by <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a>'s sister <a href="https://instagram.com/sarah.lynch98">sarah</a> who is lesbian. <a href="https://instagram.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> and i leave at around 11:30 and i walk home.</p>
<p id="fakebirthday" data-date="062324" data-type="social">i wake up late and go to mccarren park for the <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> x <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> x <a href="https://twitter.com/quasimatt">quasimatt</a> birthday celebration. i'm a little late and <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> are there. i also meet mike. no one comes for a while and then <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> come. <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a> reveals that he has saved multiple lives before. a lot of gay people that <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> know come, and <a href="https://instagram.com/wandatinasky">beckett</a> comes. i go to get some food with <a href="https://instagram.com/wandatinasky">beckett</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">bienstock</a>. on the way, we run into <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> gives me a beautiful piece of art she painted that looks like my website, <a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a>. she also gives me some candy. the squad goes to bulbap grill and everyone acts like 14-year-olds in the restaurant while i wait for my burrito. as we're leaving, we meet up with <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> and i go back to the park and run into <a href="https://twitter.com/wesamo_">wesam</a> on the way. he joins us. <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> points out that she is the only woman at the entire gathering and i realize that 90% of my friends are guys. back at the park, <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">salty</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/coldhealing">tanner</a> join. <a href="https://twitter.com/delta_alpha_ohm">josh</a> comes with swedish fish and a bottle of wine that he got for me with <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> comes. <a href="https://twitter.com/cibolan2000">marcel</a> comes. <a href="https://twitter.com/realityspammer">max</a> comes. <a href="https://twitter.com/kitvolta">kit</a> comes and gives me a bunch of hentai stickers. <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> comes and gives me a boxed sake. <a href="https://twitter.com/bubbgagump">galaxia</a> comes following her recent re-immigration to new york. <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> comes and asks me for an air conditioner. <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> come and give me a gorgeous black u.s. polo assn. shirt. <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/basedmaterialsm">adrian</a> come with a bunch of rich people food such as macarons that they bought with ebt and pass it out. <a href="https://twitter.com/ripissa">isabella</a>, <a href="https://instagram.com/anjali_patil">anjali</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/meghnav27">meghna</a> come. <a href="https://instagram.com/anjali_patil">anjali</a> gives me an ed hardy-esque card with a large temporary tattoo and a visa gift card. <a href="https://twitter.com/ripissa">isabella</a> gives me a hat that says "not guilty", and a ramen bowl with chopsticks and some ramen. <a href="https://twitter.com/elizardbethc">elizabeth</a> comes and tells me she will venmo me any amount up to $25 since the last time i tried to scam her she ended up not sending a venmo because it was a scam. i ask her for 29 cents. she sends me $29 on venmo with the caption "nonbinary roommate housing crisis" and then starts socializing with a wide array of people. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> comes with her iconic dog moka and some bougie italian sandwiches. she also brings a ladder toss game and <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a> arrive together so we play a game. <a href="https://twitter.com/wesamo_">wesam</a> keeps playing and wins a game. <a href="https://instagram.com/rbirstock">rebecca</a> comes. <a href="https://twitter.com/manabovetown">nick</a> comes. i say hi to <a href="https://instagram.com/sarah.lynch98">sarah</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/nobody_clothing">mark</a> comes. <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/halsey.wav">david</a> come. <a href="https://instagram.com/halsey.wav">david</a> gives me a rich people candle. i talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/swirlgirl07">chaeli</a> briefly. <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a> comes and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> comes after a navigation debacle that landed her in deep brooklyn (gowanus) for a moment. <a href="https://twitter.com/coldhealing">tanner</a> and i demolish <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/halsey.wav">david</a> in a game of ladder toss due to <a href="https://twitter.com/coldhealing">tanner</a>'s midwestern-coded lawn game acumen. a lot of extreme segregation occurs, with gay people occupying one half of the gathering and problematic and canceled dimes square people occupying the other. other social factions are sprinkled throughout. i make little to no effort to introduce people to each other because i am scared of the civil war that may occur. the party dwindles down. <a href="https://instagram.com/skiptothelou">lisa</a> comes and gives me peppermint orbit gum. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i go to get coffee and go to the bodega and <a href="https://twitter.com/kev_esh">kevin</a> shows up outside because he has my location and has been following me. back at the park, he gives me his gift: some leftover pizza inside a ziplock bag that looks utterly disgusting and inedible. i gift it back to him immediately because it looks utterly disgusting and inedible. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i play ladder toss. <a href="https://twitter.com/kevin_esh">kevin</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, and i, the final soldiers in the mccarren park hangout session, divest from the <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> x <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> x <a href="https://twitter.com/quasimatt">quasimatt</a> birthday celebration at mccarren park and go home.</p>
<p id="pier" data-date="062224" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/ravi_bhandia">ravi</a> at seward park to go play tennis at pier 42, but when we get there, there are a bunch of people waiting and it's obvious that it'll take forever so we go home. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> at deluxe green bo. we're waiting for <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> so i get sesame ube ice cream at chinatown ice cream factory. we go to columbus park and discuss <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a>'s tiktok career. we go back to deluxe green bo and <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> meets us there. we eat a bunch of food and then get a lyft to astoria where <a href="https://instagram.com/karmen_paley">karmen</a> is having a housewarming party. <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a> is already there. we hang at <a href="https://instagram.com/karmen_paley">karmen</a>'s with <a href="https://instagram.com/babzastro">babz</a> and some other people talking and drinking. <a href="https://instagram.com/k_compss">kyle</a> comes later and after <a href="https://twitter.com/chill_gay_guy">jackson</a> makes me a bracelet that says a really bad word on it, we all leave. i get in <a href="https://instagram.com/hen_arber">henry</a>'s uber home and then walk to <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s where <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/escbas">alex bienstock</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/kittystremy">kitty</a> aka raw sex rationalist are hanging out. we discuss various things and do a plethora of bits until around 5:30am when <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a> announces that he's going to sleep and i take the train home.</p>
<p id="dariaschella" data-date="062124" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> in the lower east side and we walk to the wilson store because I need to buy tennis shoes and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.amazon.com/Wilson-Sporting-Goods-Championship-Tennis/dp/B001FZCVTM?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=quasimatt-20&linkCode=ur2&linkId=375500c36976ab213191e5ed15c3b781&camp=1789&creative=9325">tennis balls</a>. we go to thisbowl and get beef brisket bowls to eat in washington square park. we go for a short strizzy and i return home. i plan to go to <a href="https://twitter.com/dogwhistl3">darias</a>'s birthday party at the folly so i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s because it's nearby. <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> are there. <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s apartment is littered with government documents because he didn't pay his taxes or something. we envision the types of people we expect to see at <a href="https://twitter.com/dogwhistl3">darias</a>chella: opps, twinks, and trans women. we consider canonizing the event in the lore as oppchella, twinkchella, or even transchella. when we go to <a href="https://twitter.com/dogwhistl3">darias</a>chella we discover that <a href="https://twitter.com/dogwhistl3">darias</a> is so famous that the venue is extremely packed. we never get to make the necessary judgments to choose the appropriate prefix for the chella and leave almost immediately because we don't want to push to the back of the venue where we suspect <a href="https://twitter.com/dogwhistl3">darias</a> can be found. the only person i see that i know is <a href="https://twitter.com/riska9_11">riska</a>, who admits to me that her recent violent assault of <a href="https://twitter.com/dogwhistl3">darias</a> is the reason for his instagram story selfies featuring a bloody face and neck brace that he sent from a hospital bed the day before. she demonstrates no remorse. we go back to <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s. <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> comes over and we do some bits. i leave just after 1am because i am supposed to play tennis the next morning.</p>
<p id="unearth" data-date="062024" data-type="social">i take the train to <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s where <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/camidarling">cami</a> are hanging out in the back yard with their dogs. i drink a bunch of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Spindrift-Sparkling-Variety-Squeezed-Seltzer/dp/B07FCQKZ4F/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=quasimatt-20&linkCode=ur2&linkId=df4788fb51d2f8d24754f4526ff87657&camp=1789&creative=9325">spindrift</a> and eat a chopped cheese from the deli and then play a bunch of youtube videos on the tv including the infamous <a href="https://twitter.com/ecco2k">ecco2k</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCf10TgpwgM">classical music with rap ad libs dj set</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQa8Dadmj7Y">unearth me</a> by <a href="https://twitter.com/oklou_">oklou</a>, and various <a href="https://twitter.com/l1ldebbie">lil debbie</a> music videos. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> gets an uber to fidi so i grift a ride off of her, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Penny-Skateboards-High-Vibe-22/dp/B084NW9CXN/?&_encoding=UTF8&tag=quasimatt-20&linkCode=ur2&linkId=3e885f81aa0978069f06b3a7934c6f18&camp=1789&creative=9325">penny board</a> to the m15 bus stop, catch the bus at the exact moment it arrives, and go home.</p>
<p id="racket" data-date="061624" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> at court16 in fidi to buy a tennis racket and we walk to battery park city to play tennis against the wall in rockefeller park. we walk through tribeca and buy gatorade to sip in a public plaza of sorts before parting ways.</p>
<p id="spiritedaway" data-date="061524" data-type="social">i grab a gift for my college friend <a href="https://www.twitter.com/ripissa">isabella</a>'s birthday party at spirited away and hop on the train to go to her apartment in brooklyn. i have a couple drinks and chat with <a href="https://www.twitter.com/ripissa">isabella</a>, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/theicemanc0meth">nick</a>, <a href="https://www.twitter.com/anjalipatilcbs">anjali</a>, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/cheyy_b">cheyenne</a>, and <a href="https://www.twitter.com/shyfieri">shannel</a> and meet <a href="https://www.instagram.com/hihelloitsmelorenzo">lorenzo</a> and lauren for the first time. i leave and meet <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> in the lower east side to go hang out with his art-adjacent gay friends in their apartment and they play a bunch of <a href="https://www.twitter.com/ladygaga">lady gaga</a> music videos. we bounce to <a href="https://www.twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> and <a href="https://www.twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a>'s pink-themed party to mourn the loss of their extravagant fort greene apartment. we cry because it's over. we smile because it happened. <a href="https://www.twitter.com/kitvolta">kit</a>, <a href="https://www.twitter.com/wesamo__">wesam</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>, and <a href="https://www.twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a> are waiting to get buzzed into the apartment when we arrive, and <a href="https://twitter.com/bhwags">brian</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> come soon after. we all go up to the apartment and i greet <a href="https://www.twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> and <a href="https://www.twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a>. we mill around discussing various topics, drinking an array of beverages, and dancing. i meet <a href="https://www.instagram.com/evvnique">evonique</a>, who was also at <a href="https://twitter.com/keirsim">keiran</a>chella the night before. <a href="https://www.twitter.com/jacobarluck">jacob</a> and <a href="https://www.twitter.com/tarunchitra">tarun</a> arrive. i do [redacted] and start to think that everyone thinks i'm stupid and then i feel like i just actually am stupid so i zone out for a while and sit on the couch writing an extremely long essay in my notes app about how everyone thinks i'm retarded which i delete the next morning. i say bye to everyone and go home.</p>
<p id="keiranchella" data-date="061424" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> on the j train at the delancey essex stop because we're going to dayglow and then <a href="https://twitter.com/keirsim">keiran</a>chella. she films influencer content at dayglow and we go to a nearby thai restaurant before heading to <a href="https://twitter.com/keirsim">keiran</a>'s gorgeous loft for a party he is hosting with <a href="https://twitter.com/danababy97">dana</a>, who i don't know and never meet. when <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i arrive at <a href="https://twitter.com/keirsim">keiran</a>chella we run into <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/bhwags">brian</a> outside. i greet <a href="https://twitter.com/keirsim">keiran</a> and soon after run into ex-viner and gay person <a href="https://twitter.com/jarodzsz">jarod</a>. his associates <a href="https://twitter.com/inlanddernpire">matt</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/desivirgil">adi</a>, among others from the gay brooklynite social complex that i (perhaps erroneously) associate with the bedstuy gay bar singers, are also there. <a href="https://twitter.com/inlanddernpire">matt</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/jarodzsz">jarod</a> explain to me that <a href="https://twitter.com/danababy97">dana</a> is an ex-influencer and the reason they're there is because they know her from twitter. this is somewhat shocking to me because i convinced myself that <a href="https://twitter.com/danababy97">dana</a> was <a href="https://twitter.com/keirsim">keiran</a>'s sister. she is not. the whole thing is a bit crazy and wild because it feels like two disparate worlds colliding. why are the gay people that post lewds and <a href="https://twitter.com/charli_xcx">charli xcx</a> memes on my timeline standing next to all the crypto grifters i hang out with? it's fun and interesting but also strange. the music is good and the room gets really hot so people oscillate between the apartment and the massive rooftop, which has a view of east williamsburg staple cubesmart as well as the manhattan skyline. i talk to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/skiptotheluo">lisa</a> and her friends about minions and say hi to <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">josh</a>. i talk to maya, who i recently met through <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a> arrives. i talk to some other people and then leave the party and walk around listening to music before taking a lyft home.</p>
<p id="honkytonk" data-date="061324" data-type="social"><a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> texts me to go to dinner with him and <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a>, his russian baddie girlfriend who's visiting from berlin, near my apartment. we go to kiki's. after dinner, i walk them to the subway but it's not running so we wait in the street for their uber and ridgewood egirls <a href="https://twitter.com/kailey13338834">kailey</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/largecalves">sydney</a> walk past. they stop to have a chat and tell us they just got off a boat for a monthly honky tonk event where people get on a river boat that cruises around manhattan and 2 step and line dance. they move on and <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/tanya_smiling">tanya</a> hop in their uber. i walk home.</p>
<p id="kathypill2" data-date="061224" data-type="mention">i am mentioned in <a href="https://kathypill.substack.com/p/eye-candy">kathypill</a>.</p>
<p id="frog" data-date="061224" data-type="social">i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s midday to co-work. eddie is there and we all have a simply delectable meal consisting of spicy sausage and a massive slab of fried cheese atop sun dried tomatoes and arugula. after dinner, <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and i walk to a comic/video/comedy show <a href="https://frogfarm.online">frog farm</a>, where <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a> is djing but also kind of live performing. about a block away from the venue (purgatory in bushwick), we run into <a href="https://twitter.com/mera_angelgirl">mera</a>, one of the funniest people, who is also performing a standup routine at the show. when we get into <a href="https://frogfarm.online">frog farm</a>, i briefly talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/_grandmaemily">emily</a> and grab a seat in the back with <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>. <a href="https://frogfarm.online">frog farm</a> has a lineup of local (and sometimes non-local) artists, but they spice it up by doing skits with complex lore about frogs and laying eggs and frogs having sex with scientists and stuff like that. the show is hosted by comic maker and risograph publisher <a href="https://twitter.com/alexander_laird">alex laird</a>, who is joined by comedian <a href="https://twitter.com/sara_hennessey">sara hennessey</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/williambanks_">william banks</a>, a guy who runs <a href="https://carworld.love">car world</a>. in his words, <a href="https://carworld.love">car world</a> is "a sci-non-fi community building project created to raise global concern for the genocide of the attendants, the native species of <a href="https://carworld.love">car world</a>--a planet in an alternate universe ruled by human-headed worms sexually obsessed with <a href="https://twitter.com/williambanks_">william banks</a>." their skits sometimes "include" <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a>, who never speaks but is on stage in a frog outfit the entire time playing remixes he made of various pop songs using frog sounds such as ribbits. when addressed, he triggers a frog sound to be played on his keytar. <a href="https://frogfarm.online">frog farm</a> is weird, lore-soaked, and overwhelmingly wholesome. when it's over, <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a> is still frog djing, so he doesn't notice when i briefly try to wave to him on the stage as i exit. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and i part ways to go home.</p>
<p id="free" data-date="061124" data-type="social"><a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> sends me his address and then says "don't put that on your site." i take the train to bushwick because i'm going to pick up some computer equipment from <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, but i forget to bring a bag to put it in and want to see my old roommates <a href="https://twitter.com/michaleenultra">michael</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/k_compss">kyle</a> so i text them to see if they'll give me a bag. i go to their apartment by maria hernandez park where they're navigating the process of selling their <a href="https://twitter.com/charli_xcx">charli xcx</a> tickets. i ask them for the biggest reusable grocery bag they have. they give it to me. it's free. i walk to <a href="https://twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>'s to pick up a laptop. it's brand new and still in the box. it's free. i walk to <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>'s to pick up a large computer monitor. it's free. i drop it but catch it just in time so it barely touches the ground and only gets a scrape. i go to dunkin for a cold brew. i have points on the dunkin app so it's free. i hop the myrtle broadway turnstile. the train is free. i stop home to drop off all my stuff and get on the bus to the drift x robot ventures happy hour. i don't pay for the bus. while i'm getting off the bus, i'm stopped briefly by privacy maximalist <a href="https://twitter.com/colludingnode">c-node</a>, who's leaving the event. when i arrive at driftchella at the de facto solana ecosystem office on houston, i immediately encounter industry titan and cabal member <a href="https://twitter.com/tarunchitra">tarun</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/cindyleowtt">cindy</a>. we take the elevator to the roof, where i talk with <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/mattdobel">matt</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/addigator71">addi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/jacobarluck">jacob</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a>. i also see <a href="https://twitter.com/0xmadisonn">maddie</a> but she's always talking to someone and i always assume she's making a $100,000,000 deal and don't want to interrupt so i don't say hi. i get some drinks. it's an open bar so they're free. pizza gets delivered and i eat it. it's free. i meet a few other people and talk mostly about money and sometimes about technology. after a while, we're banished from the rooftop. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/jacobarluck">jacob</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a>, and i take the d train home. i hop the turnstile so it's free.</p>
<p id="mango" data-date="061024" data-type="social">i walk to shan fu for a coconut mango juice and then meet <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/camidarling">cami</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> at kiki's and sit with them for a while discussing venture capital and smart home robots. we stay past closing and i walk <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> to the m15 bus stop where we scheme out a new life path for me. i walk home.</p>
<p id="julivert" data-date="060924" data-type="social">i hardly leave my apartment until after 7pm. i see <a href="https://www.instagram.com/themasterofcum/">peter vack</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/waifmaterial">chloe</a> on canal street on the way to <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> and i go to saint julivert and then walk through brooklyn bridge park enjoying a view of the iconic one manhattan square.</p>
<p id="dionysus" data-date="060824" data-type="social">i'm "late" to dayday wine + flowers picnic @ tompkins, a pseudo-religious ritual in celebration of affluent socialite <a href="https://twitter.com/thedayagenda">day</a>'s birthday. when i get there, <a href="https://twitter.com/thedayagenda">day</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/promptdom">holly</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">salty</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/rantoninretaud">charley</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> are already there. soon after, <a href="https://twitter.com/basedmaterialsm">adrian</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a> arrive with a spread of bougie food, <a href="https://twitter.com/dsonoiki">damilare</a> aka gene parmesan arrives, and <a href="https://twitter.com/dollpariah">salome</a> drops by for a bit. <a href="https://twitter.com/dollpariah">salome</a> is kind of a celebrity to me and i've never seen her in real life but i don't say anything to her. <a href="https://twitter.com/thedayagenda">day</a> asks people to read incantations that have something to do with dionysus. i read something about dionysus's mother into his phone, which is recording. there's also a statue of dionysus with a candle and some other ritual-esque stuff going on. at some point we decide that we all simply must go to <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s apartment so we go to <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s but <a href="https://twitter.com/thedayagenda">day</a> is nowhere to be found. the next day, he tweets "it's ok to be in your 40s and irish your own birthday to puke." i take it too far with the wine and nap in <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s bed before popping back out. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a>, and i hop on the l train and i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/vivianphung">vivian</a>'s birthday party in williamsburg. i expect to see a bunch of people i know there but <a href="https://twitter.com/vivianphung">vivian</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/gingerkwesi">kwesi</a> are the only people there that i already know, so i spend most of my time talking to new people. i take a lyft home.</p>
<p id="wutang" data-date="060724" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> at seward park and we go to manousheh on our way to the wu-tang x pleasr event/party/sonic torture chamber, which is at a beautiful and gorgeous temple-like venue in the lower east side called the angel orensanz foundation. when we're about to enter, we see <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> in the street. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> gets us in by showing the bouncer that he's in a pleasrdao group chat. the event is the kickoff for a series of listening parties where pleasr is allowing people to listen to a private wu-tang album they own because <a href="https://twitter.com/martinshkreli">martin shkreli</a> bought it and then had it seized when he got in some legal trouble and then pleasr bought it from the government or something like that. i don't know all the lore. some members of wu-tang are there and there's an open bar but they're only serving a crazy 95% sugar hypnotiq cocktail. music is being played at an almost lethal volume. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> starts briefly introducing me to some people who are in pleasrdao. i run into a couple people i know: <a href="https://instagram.com/skiptotheluo">lisa</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/poolnoodle93">saarim</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/bhwags">brian</a>. <a href="https://instagram.com/skiptotheluo">lisa</a> talks to me about <a href="https://twitter.com/bladeecity">bladee</a>'s most recent album, cold visions. finally a real drainer... <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/jacobarluck">jacob</a> show up right before i leave. i leave by myself, and as i walk to the train to go to <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s, i remember that this is supposed to be cloutmaxxing summer and i should have stayed in the torture chamber to meet more rich and clouted people instead of doing what i want to do which is have a fun and relaxing night in <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s back yard in bushwick. it's too late, so i head to <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s where <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/natn3t">nat</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> are chilling. we play a ladder ball toss game that i recently ordered to <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s apartment and eat. <a href="https://twitter.com/maylor_moon">mayra</a> shows up with her friend <a href="https://twitter.com/thedriftofwords">crystal</a>. we all stay on some "just chilling:)" type shit until like 2am, when i go home.</p>
<p id="vackchella" data-date="060624" data-type="social">today is the much-anticipated release party for <a href="https://www.instagram.com/themasterofcum/">peter vack</a>'s new book, sillyboy. after work I meet <a href="https://www.twitter.com/ultraslut/">blake</a> near shan fu so i can grab a delicious watermelon juice. he arrives in a blazer, a big bow, and jorts, and we walk to blade study for an opening. on the way there, we see <a href="https://www.twitter.com/waifmaterial/">chloe</a> in the street. when <a href="https://www.twitter.com/ultraslut/">blake</a> and i leave to go to contours, another art event on allen street, we briefly talk to sculptor and genius <a href="https://www.twitter.com/geneverwhat/">genevieve</a> in the street while she's on her way to blade study. the other art event is more tech-adjacent and less downtown art hoe-adjacent. i see <a href="https://www.twitter.com/rhynotic/">adam</a> there but don't say hi to him because we have an ongoing bit where we go to all the same events but have never spoken. i'm supposed to meet friends at veselka for dinner, so <a href="https://www.twitter.com/ultraslut/">blake</a> walks me there. after some time, <a href="https://www.twitter.com/f4eth/">kathy</a> and <a href="https://www.twitter.com/weymarjohansson/">weyland</a> arrive. <a href="https://www.twitter.com/dsonoiki/">damilare sonoiki</a>, a podcaster, friend of <a href="https://twitter.com/hasanthehun">hasan piker</a>, friend of <a href="https://twitter.com/drake">drake</a>, former simpson's writer, plaintiff in a trial against harvard university, and overall interesting guy with an extended universe of extremely fascinating lore, arrives. we've been in the same room a few times before but this is the first time i actually meet him. <a href="https://www.twitter.com/blissposting/">david</a>, <a href="https://www.twitter.com/selfimmolati0n/">dull</a>, and <a href="https://www.twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> arrive extremely late together. i harass them lightly and we sit outside for a scrumptious ukrainian meal. <a href="https://www.twitter.com/blissposting/">david</a> orders the save ukraine bowl. when we're done eating, we walk to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/themasterofcum/">vack</a>chella, which is nearby at a recording studio that becomes an events space at night called gonzo's. we use <a href="https://www.twitter.com/f4eth/">kathy</a>'s clout and fame to skip the line. i walk in and instantly see <a href="https://www.twitter.com/escbas">alex bienstock</a>, a guy that is around and knows things about art but is otherwise mysterious to me. i see <a href="https://www.twitter.com/RantoninRetaud">charley</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/BasedMaterialsm">adrian</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/elizardbethc">elizabeth</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/donotdelay">ariel</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/thedayagenda">day</a> early on in the night. we all try to hang out in what we call the <a href="https://twitter.com/bladeecity">bladee</a> room, which is a room i played <a href="https://twitter.com/bladeecity">bladee</a> in all night when i hosted an arts event at gonzo's with <a href="https://www.twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>. after about 20 minutes, we get kicked out of the <a href="https://twitter.com/bladeecity">bladee</a> room because the trashy tv network bravo is filming at the party and needs to use the <a href="https://twitter.com/bladeecity">bladee</a> room as their home base. we're forced to mingle and i briefly talk to egirls <a href="https://twitter.com/______4L5">annie</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/riska9_11">riska</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/DamianAureli">justin lapuff</a> and (obviously) <a href="https://www.instagram.com/themasterofcum">peter vack</a> are there but i don't talk to them because i have never talked to them and they are a little bit scary to me. i see <a href="https://www.twitter.com/rhynotic">adam</a>, the same guy that i saw at the previous art event, and decide to stop doing our bit and say hi to him. <a href="https://twitter.com/joshqharris">joshqharris</a>, a guy that i've been moochies with on twitter with for a while approaches me and asks the ever-scary and ever-iconic question, "are you quasimatt?" i feel really famous. i tell him that i always thought he was black because i always thought he was black, but he's actually not black. he's white. <a href="https://www.twitter.com/ultraslut/">blake</a> and <a href="https://www.twitter.com/geneverwhat/">genevieve</a> arrive with some other people from their sect of society. everyone runs around and has a bit of fun and drinks alcohol. at around midnight i get anxious about the fact that i have to work the next day and leave, seeing <a href="https://twitter.com/nobody_clothing">mark</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/realityspammer">max</a> on the way out. when i get home, i realize i don't want to go to bed. i text <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> "wyd these days?" because i see that he's at his apartment with <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> on find my friends. he sends me a video of a spicy chick-fil-a sandwich at his apartment, and i immediately mobilize, hopping on the f train to go eat it. i eat the sandwich and hang out with <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> for a bit and then go home.</p>
<p id="fresh" data-date="060524" data-type="social">i plan to stay at home chilling and vibing but <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> pulls up in an uber and forces me to go to wei's in williamsburg for a late dinner. we go to kidsuper because they're having an event with uniswap but it's much more of an actual party than we previously realized and we don't really want to be at a party so we try to get our friends <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> to come out and meet us. while we wait we talk to a guy that i later find out is optimism <a href="https://twitter.com/binji_x">binji</a>. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> don't come out expeditiously so we walk to fresh kills to meet <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a>. right when my spine is about to shatter from contorting my body in perhaps the most uncomfortable seating arrangement known to humankind, <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> arrive. <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> dip and we go for a brief walk through williamsburg before going our separate ways.</p>
<p id="godzilla" data-date="060424" data-type="social">after work i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a> in fort greene park. we try really hard not to talk about real estate but we talk about real estate. it gets cold so we walk to their beautiful and not to mention extremely gorgeous abode. after a while, <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> comes and we start putting on portions of multiple godzilla movies and then talking over them. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> and i walk to chick-fil-a and then walk to <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s and talk over esoteric youtube mini-documentaries made by egirls before i go home.</p>
<p id="jjblt" data-date="060224" data-type="social">i meet <a href="https://www.instagram.com/halsey.wav/">david</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/ursickfantasy">kristen</a> at the myrtle broadway popeye's at 12:30 and we walk to the clinton hill jimmy john's where i order a jjblt combo. it costs $18. it seems like no one wants to sell a delicious sandwich at a reasonable price these days. unemployed non-binary bushwick resident <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a> and employed binary bushwick resident <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a> meet us at jimmy john's and we sit at a table on myrtle street before going to petee's pie company across the street. <a href="https://twitter.com/ursickfantasy">kristen</a> goes home with her pie and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/halsey.wav/">david</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/megab00f">cam</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_mun1b">munib</a>, and i go to fort greene park where <a href="https://www.instagram.com/_kclapp">kailey</a> is lounging about in the sun and reading a book. <a href="https://www.instagram.com/halsey.wav/">david</a> leaves and we meet up with <a href="https://twitter.com/JonahGraber">jonah</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kirbyisround">brennan</a>, and a slew of their friends that i don't know. i'm rather tired so i consider going home but instead i walk to the botanical garden and get a cold brew on the way. i meet crypto founder <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a>, crypto growth superstar <a href="https://twitter.com/html_tina">tina</a>, and crypto grifter <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> in the botanical gardens after getting a community ticket for free (life hack). they're with crypto founder <a href="https://twitter.com/cindyleowtt">cindy</a> and eva, both of whom i meet for the first time. we walk to clinton hill establishment the fly where <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> meets us. after we eat, i leave to stop home before going to sovereign house, a place for art-adjacent and/or crypto-adjacent and extremely online people to be performatively edgy that is often accused of being funded by rich gay guy <a href="https://twitter.com/peterthiel">peter thiel</a> and being a fascist hotbed. tonight, scene celebrity and $egirl ceo <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a> is hosting her event, confessions. i'm attending because the architect of contemporary dimes square social and literary kayfabe and the inventor of culture at large, <a href="https://twitter.com/RantoninRetaud">charley</a>, is reading. i walk in and try to beeline to the back yard. on my way, i see <a href="https://twitter.com/RantoninRetaud">charley</a> and tell him i'm there just for him. he warns me that his reading is going to be "so bad." in the backyard, <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a> is playing with an anime figurine, <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> is being <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/_casscore">cass</a> is talking to her brother, and <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a> and the ever-popular <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">saltypickles</a> are milling about talking to basically every single person. after at least one million cigarettes have been smoked in the back yard, the hosts come outside and inform everyone that the reading is about to start. i go inside and sit next to <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a>, who introduces me to her friend mary. <a href="https://twitter.com/DamianAureli">justin lapuff</a>, a guy who existed first as an idea and social media concept and was then embodied/co-opted by a a real actual person, reads. during the intermission, i briefly talk to <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a>'s boyfriend <a href="https://twitter.com/BasedMaterialsm">adrian</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a> about not going to texas for a crypto event called consensus and going to texas for a crypto event called consensus respectively. i also talk to jeff, who is a somewhat mysterious member of the <a href="https://twitter.com/Kenny___Rose">kenny</a>verse, <a href="https://twitter.com/coldhealing">coldhealing</a>, and extremely tall photographer <a href="https://twitter.com/manabovetown">nick dove</a>. i meet <a href="https://twitter.com/cibolan2000">marcel</a> irl for the first time. he identifies himself as an undercollateralized stablecoin critic and brings up rwa custodians. i do a little bit of networking and careerism. the intermission is extended by the fact that everyone is waiting for <a href="https://www.instagram.com/themasterofcum/">peter vack</a> to arrive so that he can see <a href="https://twitter.com/RantoninRetaud">charley</a>'s reading. and by everyone i mean just <a href="https://twitter.com/RantoninRetaud">charley</a> and maybe <a href="https://twitter.com/babybaudrillard">cassidy</a>. after intermission, <a href="https://twitter.com/RantoninRetaud">charley</a> reads. there are basically three things that i think would be predictable but really interesting for <a href="https://twitter.com/RantoninRetaud">charley</a> to do: address [redacted], say [redacted], and namedrop me. in his reading, <a href="https://twitter.com/RantoninRetaud">charley</a> addresses [redacted], says [redacted], and namedrops me. it's good. a girl reads a piece about wanting to fuck <a href="https://twitter.com/finkd">mark zuckerberg</a>. riding the high from the microscopic crumb of clout <a href="https://twitter.com/RantoninRetaud">charley</a> has afforded me, i rush to the exit where i see internet culture understander <a href="https://twitter.com/realityspammer">max</a>. he comments on my <a href="https://twitter.com/bladeecity">bladee</a> shirt. i walk home.</p>
<p id="bbq" data-date="060124" data-type="social">i go to <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s to barbecue and enjoy a gorgeous and amazing day in bushwick. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/natn3t">nat</a> are already there. we go to food bazaar and <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> buys $350 of groceries. we cook and enjoy a delicious meal. after we eat, <a href="https://twitter.com/isabellewei">isabelle</a> and her boyfriend come. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> comes. we eat several pounds of meat and are all about to fall asleep, so <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and i take the train to manhattan, where i drop by <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>'s affluent doorman loft co-op in greenwich village. <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a> is also there, and we discuss the state of microsubculture and our friends' lore. i go home.</p>
<p id="dayglow" data-date="053124" data-type="social">i'm walking home from grabbing lunch at north dumpling and see <a href="https://twitter.com/charlottefang77">charlotte fang</a>-affiliated egirl <a href="https://twitter.com/waifmaterial">chloe</a> aka waifmaterial on hester street. i have an ever-so-important virtual meeting in two minutes so i just wave. we say hi and i keep it pushing. at 7 i get to bar laika in clinton hill. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> pulls up. digital artist and egirl <a href="https://twitter.com/kitvolta">kit</a> pulls up. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/tayebsss">tayeb</a> meet us on the street corner but <a href="https://twitter.com/tayebsss">tayeb</a> goes home to new jersey. we uber to dayglow in bushwick to meet <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/natn3t">nat</a>. we all go to pink metal and then tradesman. people peel off. some other things occur and transpire and we end up near myrtle broadway. the train isn't running in a timely manner so i question my entire life in the lyft home.</p>
<p id="rod" data-date="053024" data-type="social">at noon i'm feeling restless and need to relocate so i check find my friends. i see that <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> is at <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s so i go co-work at <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s palatial mansion in carroll gardens with <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, goated designer <a href="https://twitter.com/uuuteki">ann</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>. i sit with my laptop under a gorgeous and massive window surrounded by extremely large potted plants, reading and writing various things, including sending and receiving messages via slack, telegram, twitter, and signal. we go to famous mexican-run carroll gardens establishment cubana cafe for a meal, and when the workday is over i head back home. filipino dj <a href="https://twitter.com/ursickfantasy">kristen</a> texts me that she's near my apartment. i'm about to hang up a curtain rod in my apartment so i ask her to help me. we hang up the rod. we walk past all 400,000 people drinking on canal street to go to 169 bar where we have a drink outside and discuss her dj career and my event hosting career which is me having had one single drain gang themed event in the smallest bar in brooklyn, jade. we go to wedding banquet liquor store because <a href="https://twitter.com/ursickfantasy">kristen</a> wants a "big bottle of soju" but they don't have the one she wants. i go home and she goes to kiki's to listen to doss in her headphones.</p>
<p id="women" data-date="052824" data-type="social">at 5:30 my grifter friend <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> comes to see an apartment in my building because i am trying to get someone to live in the unit and advertised it to people since i want my friends to be my neighbors. i meet him in the unit and it's slightly smaller than mine but the way it's renovated is at least one thousand or perhaps even one million times better than the way mine was renovated. the broker tells me the landlord found new contractors that are the same price as the ones that did my apartment but do a way better job. i feel proud of the contractors that did my apartment for getting away with an iconic grift but am annoyed that i got a shittily renovated apartment as a result. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> seems interested in the apartment and indicates to me during conversation that he's interested in engaging in monk-like behaviors and therefore is willing to live in an apartment much smaller than his current one. he asks me for some input on a grift he's doing. i advise. <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> leaves for a dinner in brooklyn with our friends <a href="https://twitter.com/sowaasays">sowa</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/arbitragegoth">john</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/protecturflame">gabe</a>. i don't go because i've already committed to going to kiki's with a significant contingent of beach club, a women-only crypto industry social club. i meet with <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a>, world-trotting modular ecosystem maven <a href="https://twitter.com/natn3t">nat</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/camidarling">cami</a>, a recent chicago-to-new-york immigrant who i've never met before but already knows everyone else due to her beach club affiliation. i get a watermelon juice, we go to seward park where <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a> meets us, and then go to reception for a scrumptious cocktail. <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> meets all of us at kiki's and we chow. they get on the train and i walk home and immediately tweet "i've been really enjoying hanging out with women recently!"</p>
<p id="weekend" data-date="052624" data-type="social">ok is it just me or is this long weekend lowkey giving long weekend? on friday i'm working from sapphic crypto industry insider <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a>'s back yard in gorgeous bushwick. she loves making a delicious meal and other wholesome activities so we go to the grocery store and select some scrumptious morsels for her to plop on the grill. <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/gabriellemic">gab</a> collab on a simply divine watermelon salad and we eat chicken with eddie on their back deck. today is unintentionally an influencer hang day for me, so i divest from canadian tech lifestyle influencer nyc content creator crypto influencer <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla trivieri</a> and hop on the j with the intention of going to celebrate the birthday of digital marketing guru livestreaming public speaker <a href="https://twitter.com/hotgirlweenie">digital darlenne</a> at papillon but i'm way too late and by the time the birthday squad relocates to joyface i'm texting <a href="https://twitter.com/hotgirlweenie">darlenne</a>chella attendees <a href="https://twitter.com/alex_williamsa">alex</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/morejelly">jasper</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/allcaps_CHRIST">christian</a> who warn me that many are not getting into the venue so i don't pull up. non-binary latina crypto cabal member <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> messages me at 1:28am, saying "gmeowww" quickly followed by "i was thinking bosser noviana cervixlicious clubana", a particularly verbose way of telling me he's going to listen to techno music in bushwick. i want to go to bed so i go to bed. friday is about techfluencers, and saturday is about artists, comedians, and drinking alcohol. i wake up late and arrive at cartoonist and visual artist <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a>'s birthday/memorial day cookout in prospect lefferts gardens after the event has officially ended at 2pm. <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a> immediately hands me a lei and i say hi to his wife <a href="https://twitter.com/_grandmaemily">emily</a> who comments that she is seeing my knees for perhaps the first time because i'm usually caught in extremely large pants or shorts that extend below the knee. i drink a really crazy and irresponsible combination of alcoholic beverages in their backyard, including desecrating a berry lemonade jones soda by pouring white rum into it. <a href="https://twitter.com/alex_williamsa">alex</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/allcaps_CHRIST">christian</a> pull up. we play cornhole. <a href="https://twitter.com/morejelly">jasper</a> pulls up. everyone there tells me that they're either an artist, a comedian, or a member of <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/_grandmaemily">emily</a>'s williamsburg church and everyone talks about how we all know each other from twitter. local comedy celebrity <a href="https://twitter.com/camerobradford">cameron bradford</a> is there. some people i've seen at <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a>-related social events before are there. <a href="https://twitter.com/shaumbe">shaumbe</a> and i create online content that bullies <a href="https://twitter.com/hanfjob">clay parks</a> for not coming to the party despite rsvp-ing "going" to the partiful event. i eat an unreasonable amount of pulled pork, sometimes mixing it with french onion dip. i text techfluencer <a href="https://twitter.com/kaylatrivieri">kayla</a> to come and we leave, walking to venture capital and marketing expert <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailcarlson_">abi</a>'s apartment in windsor terrace, where we drink wine and i go hyperverbal in an attempt to dissect the grifts of people in our immediate social circle. <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> arrives at some unreasonable hour and the two of us walk to 7 eleven for snacks and bevvies. when i take a lyft home at around 6am, my key doesn't work in the door to my unit. it breaks. i don't have access to my bed so i take the train to <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s and sleep in his bed, which he never uses because he is quirked up and always sleeps on the couch. on sunday i unintentionally lean into being nonverbal autistic. i'm supposed to host a barbecue event at prospect park along with <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, a music producer and member of based retard gang who adds me as a cohost to all his events because we think it's funny. what was originally meant to be a memorial day grill sesh has been combined with neoliberal hell podcast co-host and downtown scene-adjacent socialite <a href="https://twitter.com/matthdonovan">matthew donovan</a>'s birthday when <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a> discovered they were happening at the same time in roughly the same place. i'm extremely tired and my vibe is off because i slept at <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>'s but we both get going in time to be only an hour late to the event. maybe two hours. people are texting me that they showed up and i wasn't there. when <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> and i walk out of his apartment we immediately encounter famous crypto twitter celebrity <a href="https://twitter.com/bonecondor">birb</a> and then <a href="https://twitter.com/sunnydece">stephy</a>, who is visiting new york from vancouver and once gave me galaxy-brained crypto career advice on the phone, arrives to go to the park with us. <a href="https://twitter.com/sunnydece">stephy</a> keeps pointing out that things in new york are the way they are, but like in an insightful way. her fascination and curiosity make me realize that the things my friends and i do and have normalized are actually kind of weird and not normal. when <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/sunnydece">stephy</a>, and i finally find the memorial day grill sesh x <a href="https://twitter.com/matthdonovan">matthew donovan</a> birthday party i immediately talk to co-host <a href="https://twitter.com/blissposting">david</a>, group chat ringleader and provocative musician <a href="https://twitter.com/selfimmolati0n">dull</a>, elite substacker <a href="https://twitter.com/f4eth">kathy</a>, intellectual and technologist <a href="https://twitter.com/weymarjohansson">weyland</a>, and milady grifter and $egirl boydev <a href="https://twitter.com/griftsh0p">keegan</a>. i later encounter <a href="https://twitter.com/elizardbethc">elizabeth</a>, who has been convinced by a text blast that i sent to the attendees that i am homeless and in need of money. the reason she thinks this is because the text blast said i was homeless and in need of money. when she reaches into her purse, seemingly about to literally actually give me money, i explain that i was lying and larping as a stereotypical polyamorous bushwick resident who makes a gofundme to escape a "toxic" living situation for fun. faang tech genius <a href="https://instagram.com/davidbui.psd">david</a> arrives, as well as the music-head duo <a href="https://twitter.com/ultraslut">blake</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/halsey.wav">david</a>. there are a lot of davids. i run into history phd student and occasional gay twitter main character <a href="https://twitter.com/comradesanchez">jose</a>. i feel extremely nonverbal autistic and weird because i have not showered and am itching to get home and call a locksmith to get into my apartment where my nonverbal autism will go unseen. i see a few people that i should probably say hi to but i don't because i am feeling nonverbal autistic: other $egirl boydev <a href="https://twitter.com/nobody_clothing">mark</a>, dimes square reporter <a href="https://twitter.com/mcrumps">mike crumplar</a>, and clouted tiktok-twitter crossposter <a href="https://twitter.com/coldhealing">coldhealing</a>, to name a few. my nonverbal autism compels me to leave. i leave, nonverbally and autistically take the train to my apartment, and divest from society and culture for the rest of the day in favor of being nonverbal autistic.</p>
<p id="end" data-type="other"><a href="https://quasimatt.com">quasimatt.com</a> is created and maintained by <a href="https://twitter.com/quasimatt">quasimatt</a>, with assistance from <a href="https://twitter.com/negroprogrammer">regy</a> as the chief data officer, <a href="https://twitter.com/__mihir">mihir</a> as the director of open source operations, <a href="https://twitter.com/conejocapital">bunny</a> as the vp of business development and onchain experimentation, <a href="https://twitter.com/wesamo__">wesam</a> as the software development intern, and <a href="https://twitter.com/nonpoccafe">michael</a> as the vp of clout strategy.</p>
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