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Aumann’s agreement theorem It All Happened So Fast

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It All Happened So Fast

Mathematical Truths that we choose to ignore

Aumann’s agreement theorem

If you don’t agree with me you’re a fucking asshole

Arrow’s Theorem

We’ve had perfect ballots for 40 years and we still can’t choose a president

Littlewood’s law of large numbers

9000 stars can be seen on the darkest night. You can’t count for shit.

Death rates and mindshare, weird-ass people out there

Russel’s Paradox

A barber shaves everyone who doesn’t shave himself, so who shaves the barber?

We all contain nothing, just as no one contains everything

Godel’s Incompleteness Theorem

A world in black or white, true or false, must be inconsistent or incomplete

If you claim you have all the answers, you must be full of shit

Tarski’s Undefinablity Theorem

Any consistent language cannot define its own concept of truth

Lob’s Theorem

If you believe you can’t, you’re right

Expectations

Honest thoughts

The hardest thing was realizing I would never live up to my own expectations I finally put down the chip on my shoulder and didn’t know what to do with it I knew I’d changed people’s lives because people raved about it to me I’m afraid to be successful ultimately, afraid to pour my heart in again That I’ll confirm I’m such an outlier that nobody can actually relate to me I achieved one of the dreams that everyone has, but it feels like a sham It feels dishonest, a disservice to their frustrated hopes, to be unhappy with my accomplishments I feel the distance between my desires and my reality so acutely and I have no outlet through which to let those exasperations exorcise themselves I’m afraid of failure too. To know I gave it my all and it wasn’t enough I’m afraid of the dismal and forgettable limbo between failure and success

Imitation to find your voice

I thought, “I know, I’ll copy Ralph Waldo Emerson. He really spoke to me”

After some development, I’ve ended up between Shakespeare and Bukowski

The way Shakespeare prefaces his theses with solipsist descents to scatology

the way Bukowski cuts the BS “It means life is shit you fuckin’ idiots”

Whoever hath her wish, thou hast thy will

You’re such a slut, you should totally sleep with me cause c’mon like

what’s one more dick when your vagina is like an ocean full of dicks

Agitproper

If you have to ask for power you have none

If conservatives just talked like liberals they could sweep, and vica versa

People used to really care about things, cared enough to commit violence!

In 1972 there were 1900 domestic bombings in the US, anarchists and dissidents

Sociopathy

In another life I could have been the unabomber

Watching Hannibal reminded me of how badly I want to eat people

You know that German guy who got somebody to agree to let him eat them?

Why the fuck not!? You’re a goddamn adult, consent to be eaten (pussy) is consent to be eaten

Energy Slaves

I keep a flog in my room. For the Roomba, in case there’s an uprising

Endearingly incompetent. Like I have to follow him around to make sure he won’t trip up

Media Diet

Pika is the compulsive eating of inedible shit under vitamin deficiency

The same thing happens when you starve your brain, your survival instinct

We are trapped in a Chinese Room, parroting text which we do ont understand

Constructed Society

Our constructed society is shit

Self-care days

NO. Self care is fucking bullshit. Self care is something you do so you don’t

actually have to fix your fucking life. If you have to take a self-care day

once a week, you need to change your fucking situation. Shit.

Lines on the road

As a motorcyclist you realize that all these lines don’t mean anything except

to the cars with flashing lights on top.

The fact that nobody defects and fucks with traffic flows is proof of general

human goodness

Overton Window

It’s turning 30, and suddenly the world of women over 30 has opened to you

Suddenly they’re saying, “Well he’s not that young…”

Government

Corona Virus and the failures of governance

Capitalists

Wins

Amazon saved a lot of lives

Jack Ma donating masks and ventilators

Retooling of production to produce supplies

Losses

Toilet paper hoarding

Mass Unemployment

Socialists

Wins

Bailout money

Triumph of federalism

Losses

Governments around the world failed to enact mitigation strategies

Authoritarians

Wins

Success of martial law in China

Losses

Literally Hitler

Anarcho-libertarians

Wins

Brazil’s gangs stepped up to serve when the government wouldn’t

Not a whole lot of rioting

Modern people think they’re socialists but they’re just authoritarians

Socialism is ownership by people but we instead abdicate control to leaders

Common Mistakes

Half-baked questions, the asker is on to something, but they swung and missed

You can answer Yes, and…[here’s extra info that enriches your intuition]

You can answer Yes, but…[here’s the caveat about your intuition]

You can answer Maybe, if…[here’s what we don’t know yet]

You can answer No, but…[here’s how you get to what you’re reaching for]

You can answer No, and…[here’s the knowledge you’re missing]

You can answer WTF were you thinking…[you’re a fucking idiot]

I don’t believe in sitting on stools for posture. You have to be a fucking

idiot to believe that old-wives’ tail. Like why would having a back to your chair make you lean forward?