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Bubbles of anxiety while starting afresh
2022-05-23 11:13:30 +0530
programming
Thoughts and anxieties that surface when starting again.
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programming
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Now that I have left my previous job, it's inevitably time to search for a new opportunity. But, this is a major source of anxiety, with doubts riddled in the back of my head. Silly ones, like, will I get a job? And, if I do, will I get a good one? When will I get it? What all do I need to do? You get the gist.

I'm trying to convince myself that it's of no use to keep thinking of these thoughts. Don't worry about the outcome, and just focus on the immediate next step. When you can't see the path in front of you, it's better to focus on the next step in front of me. But, this raises the question: what is the next step in front of me. Right now, I won't be able to answer even this trivial question honestly. I need to calm myself and deliberate on this a while more. Maybe, I should also read up some posts online, do some scouring of the vast cesspool that is the internet.

Now let me tell you what I have done. I have made a list of all the things I need to do. It's not an exhaustive list my any means, but it's a start. I will be leveraging that for now to plan my next step. There are 10,000 things that I need to do, but only 1 I can do at any given moment. Therefore, I need to find that one thing I can do in this current moment, and focus on that for the time being.

Another thing that is bugging me is that I do not have a community around me that can give me mental support while I follow through this endeavour. But, there is nothing I can do about it at the moment. Maybe, I can go and stay with friends for a while, and work from there? Will that actually be of any help? Or, will it just increase my CC bill? There is a financial aspect to also think about here.

Oh well, for now, I need to take some time out from gluing my eyes to the screen all day wasting precious time scrolling through social media, and actually focus on the work at hand. Some solution is indeed about to be realized.

Until next time.
Biplob