Brothers, sisters, siblings-in-arms and in-hooves! The Horse Liberation Front calls on all of you, Hacker, pirate, and + Plinktern alike, to join forces against the evils of the "International Horse Plinko League"! These fools, + slaves to a dark and forgotten equine god of torment bound within the wastes of Finland, once again seek to + to upset the natural order with their abhorrent "Plinko Sauce&tm;". They seek to abandon the world they see as unfixable, + and plan to do it through the suffering of noble and pure horses, subjected to the cruel + miseries of the Plinko. But the sadistic Plinkers are not content to merely torture our innocent four-legged + friends, no! They plan to utilize dark sorcery - developed by the heathen witch-doctor Ravy - to better enable + ungulate suffering at rates heretofore unknown. The + fire-feeders hope to usher in a new stellar age, an age under their control, built on the backs of plinked horses! +
+This alone would be worthy of opposition of the very higest degree, but it's worse. Even we are shocked at + how short-sighted the thralls of elasticity and gravity are - for this gathering of all remaining Plinko Sauce &tm; will, unchecked, surely usher in a dark age for humanity. + We do not know the specifics, but our operatives on the inside are worried. Something big is coming. Something... explosive. +
+For this reason, we call all our nautical brothers, sisters, and siblings to join us in daring raids against the IHPL's tankers. + Only through direct piracy - or, as we prefer to call it, privateering - can we effect meaningful change and stop this saucy plot for good. + Join us! Follow our clarion call. We await you at every port, on every ship, and our sails mean some sort of bad fate - perhaps even depth. +
+Yar har har, and fiddle-dee-dee. +
+Ride free, gallop on.
+ ~ The Horse Liberation Front